Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML

Today, I realized how exhausted I was when I mixed up my eye makeup remover with toner. My eye still burns. FML

Now you tell me!

Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML

Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML

You're not supposed to eat it

Today, I used sunscreen on my face. Said sunscreen was expired and I had an allergic reaction. FML

Blurry time?

Today, I opened my new contact lenses for the first time in a month and accidentally dropped one, only to watch it disappear helplessly down the drain. Give a name to the situation. FML

Today, at work, we finally got a digital projector so our theater can show 3D movies. Our first movie is The Jonas Brothers Concert. FML

Woof

Today, I woke up with pink eye. Trying to avoid going to the doctor, I searched through my cabinet for an old RX of antibiotic eyedrops. I found a tube of antibiotic ointment labeled “For optic use only.” Only after putting in my eye did I Google what it was: Dog eye ointment. FML

Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML