Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out why you never leave wet leather shoes in a van when it's over 90 degrees. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, I discovered I'd left my coffee on top of my car when it fell through the sun roof whilst I was driving, showering me. FML
Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML
Double trouble
Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML
How? Why?
Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML
Today, I found out that the built in lighter in my car does NOT in fact glow red when hot. I now have circles burned into my finger. FML
Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML
Today, I realized how exhausted I was when I mixed up my eye makeup remover with toner. My eye still burns. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML
Top comments
nycy 0
Well I guess common sense really did die.
Schizomaniac 24
Let the lame puns begin: This gives a whole new meaning to 'heat vision.'
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Comments (242)
jonan1212 5
ydi
lemonlife 0
at least you have friends
IpWarfare 0
Who ever the moderators are for FML Can suck my ******* dick, cause your all punk ass bitches with tiny cocks, who make up 50% of the ****** BS on there site, and the only real reason they should ever post there own FML is over the size of there incompident penis. Which is the exact reason why they have so much time to make all there post, because having sex and getting pussy is a waste of time, and not for them, but for every lady that had the pleasure of getting rammed by a tootsie roll( the small ones). So if anyone here has ever wanted to work for FML. Well pull out your rulers cause there are some requirements, First lay your balls on the table. Now SMACK them with your ruler. Then measure your penis, and remember the smaller your penis the higher you will climb up the ladder. Thank you for reading this! Oh yea one last thing **** YOU SMALL DICK BITCHES
HahaHokayThen 10
Interesting.
Shell02 0
well that was strange.
pablothepenguin 2
....... lol
randomnameflob 0
need to spek to someboOoOoOoOoOoOdy who spek vi-etanamese. lol, watched like a million ownagepranks just now.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
That's the best you can do? Shame. Not actually very hot at IP warfare, are ya bud? =
MAGNAVOX 0
Is IPwarefare a girl? ewww.
Miss_Grace 0
No problem, IpWarfare. There, there. Just let it out. :]
nycy 0
Well I guess common sense really did die.
omgYoUbasTards 0
well how else was op gonna cure burning irritated eyes??
turtlemansam 6
"I can see clearly noooowwww"
zakkyzebra 11
I'm in a world filled with idiots
nycy 0
that's not what comes next. It's I can see all the obstacles in my way:)
Icyyy 0
Yeah, OP, what did you think you were putting them in? A refrigerator? ._.
maliger 0
that's like saying that it was a good idea to lick a frozen pole
kwmfl 4
Sweet picture (:
kwmfl 4
wow. How did my comment end up here? Ohh well... Just ignore it
kwmfl 4
WTF. This app is screwing up. The poster of this comment keeps changing... I like the Pac Man pic, not the random dude's pic...
Domonator 16
Better to lick a frozen pole than an overheated italian...
Domonator 16
Comment #4 changed after I replied to it, so my reply now looks even dumber.
Schizomaniac 24
Let the lame puns begin: This gives a whole new meaning to 'heat vision.'
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
kwmfl 4
Eye know a good pun... ummm maybe eye don't ):
kwmfl 4
No, don't hate yourself. Good job noticing that :D
CitrusGirl 0
Ignorance, don't be a snob
Schizomaniac 24
Telling you to not be a snob is hardly whining.
KiddNYC1O 22
Don't be such a downer, Iggy. How's that? =]
KiddNYC1O 22
I'm actually content with that answer.
ohthebloodygore 16
117, ugh?
KiddNYC1O 22
Bloody arse!
ohthebloodygore 16
NO. Bad Andres. You bloody twats!
KiddNYC1O 22
LOL I forgot to ask you... How was your day? lol =]
ohthebloodygore 16
HI IGNORANCE, HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
KiddNYC1O 22
Sure, Iggy.
lbeer 1
Why are you you guys having an arguement on FML seriously it's here for laughs not gay arguements.
I_love_my_bug 1
I must admit Ignorance, you do rather act like a snob on this site. I also find it humorous that your profile picture depicts you as a crazy fun person, and yet you are such a prick lol. Anyway, I hope you find entertainment in belittling others!
pablothepenguin 2
Wow.... The foolishness of society is heart-breaking</3 waawaawaa
cgchamp89 7
Wow... someone is a grammar Nazi. Get over it. That's just ignorant.
nycy 0
really ignorance bcos al u doez iz act like ur a fuxhking "1337" prson tht pwnz all non 1337 HAXZOR noobz. That's right, Ignorance I hope your eye bleed reading this.
I_love_my_bug 1
Hence, people calling you a snob. You assume that everybody is an idiot on Fmylife, since you said that "I may be a crazy and fun person with people who are not idiots. Who knows?" I believe that most people would agree with me that crazy and fun are definitely not correct adjectives in describing how you act here. Excuse this slight tirade against you, but your negative and condescending posts rather annoy me. I come to this site to read, generally, amusing stories, and your comments always appear attempting to show everybody how awesome you are and how inferior they are. That is all ;)
nycy 0
Okay in normal snobbish talk I said: " Really, My good sir, for all you do put others down over the INTERNET so that the life that you so desperately want to end can still cling to the little hope that you can be a bitch on FML and make people feel bad." Good enough for you?
nycy 0
My only rebuttal to end this stupid argument would be : Fall down the pit in mortal kombat 2 as you beg all the people you've pissed off to put in another quarter and then right as someone pulls a quarter out of their pocket you hit the spikes. Deal?
Freeze_fml 17
It's hilarious how much you're struggling to call someone a snob.
nycy 0
me? I never said snob. I personally don't like her
Freeze_fml 17
I had no idea.
Schizomaniac 24
172: who* Everyone else: If you don't like her comments, don't read them. It is that simple.
nycy 0
well I didn't want to but I'm not gonna skip a whole thread because a persons comment and when I read I read everything I see so I can't avoid them.
nycy 0
Or you can shut up and not comment. I mean it's a free country, sorry it's not that way in hell. I will comment whenever the hell I want. And if I want to spekz lik diz well then I and whoever the **** else wants to can so that.
nycy 0
do*. Anyway Scitzo I really just wanted to tell you I saw what you did there but this whole argument came up. Sorry for ruining your thread.
nycy 0
I wasn't serious I was pointing out the stupidity of your comment. I was mocking it if you will.
nycy 0
I wasn't serious. I was merely mocking your comment.
Freeze_fml 17
Only idiots think the Internet is a country.
FFML_314 12
Reading this thread gave me an idea.
nycy 0
Oh freeze, your stupidity knows no bounds.
nycy 0
Yay you're smiling!
FFML_314 12
Would you shut up?
nycy 0
mmmm nah I'm not physically talking so I can't shut my mouth by moving my lower jaw upwards to form a seal if you will with my mouth. But thanks for asking.
OMGPuggS 0
funny how ignorance is her bame yet she cant seem to ignore mistakes like this sentence
FFML_314 12
I didn't say shut your mouth. I said "Would you shut up?" Considering that "shut up" is a relative term, your comment is just as stupid as the rest of them. When you tell someone to "shut up" you're telling them to stop talking and given the fact that typing a comment is considered a form of talking, my comment still stands.
ifyouseekamy666 0
214 said "shutting my mouth by moving my lower jaw /upwards/" as in shutting "up" so ur comment can sit down now ignorance u gonn come gett me now for how I type too?
FFML_314 12
"nah I'm not physically talking so I can't shut my mouth" You can't read.
ifyouseekamy666 0
oh really I can't read? then wuts the next 6 words in 214's sentence there?.. oh I kno! they must be "by moving my lower jaw upwards" does that imply shutting "UP" as in shutting one's mouth in an upward direction? hey yeah I think so! don't tell me I can't read if you're the dumb bitch who misses half a sentence... obviously 214 took ur comment as in "shut up" literally which would not stop em from tryping dumbass...
ifyouseekamy666 0
typing**
FFML_314 12
You are really stupid.
DLTsandwich 5
OMGPuggS, the word ignorance is not related to the word ignore...
Quidikic 9
Ignorance, by doing what you're doing serious things can happen, it probably will not, although people like you have caused insecure people to commit suicide. How would you like that on your conscious? Feel free to look over my comment and make stupid replies to it like you did with others, good luck.
ifyouseekamy666 0
wow 227 that was a really good comeback idk wut to say now.. Don't steal combacks from 4th graders that's rude bitch!!!
nycy 0
The only way the words shut up work is if someones talking. I use the term literally because if you think about that's how the the saying is supposed to be used. It's not supposed to be relative and using it that way is the same thing as saying "cut on the lights."
Freeze_fml 17
You are all very stupid.
ifyouseekamy666 0
238 that's exactly wut u was trying to explain no?
ifyouseekamy666 0
heyy where did my comment go! D: anyway I said 238, that's exactly wut I was trying to explain no?
FFML_314 12
It doesn't work that way, 238. You can't justify your comment with more stupidity. You're only further making my point.
aardvarkish 17
229, you are wrong. The words "ignorance" and "ignore" both come from French, my first language. In French, "ignore" means "know nothing of" but was mistranslated when borrowed into English.
lbeer 1
ignorance #176 is saying that you suck at life and need to delete anything that you are able to talk or type through and crawl into a corner and stay there
DLTsandwich 5
Hmm, I didn't know that 252. I only speak English and don't know a whole lot about word origins. I just meant that (in our silly mistranslated English :] ) the words ignore and ignorance don't have the same meanings.
mind_geek 15
bitch
packattack 0
CAN YOU PEOPLE JUST SHUT THE **** UP?
iloveeyouuxD 9
????
Sulphuric_Glue 16
All behold the wall of angry text
quite_bored 9
Well duh!!
IWABO2_ 0
First!
Feelthechange 0
dumbass
nycy 0
in what numerical system is 8 considered first?
maliger 0
fail
Person1233 13
+7.
IWABO2_ 0
#12 my phone said there was no comments but it was just slow. So. Don't get bitchy plz
nycy 0
lol I know but seriously why did u even call first?
Person1233 13
That's your own fault for having a slow network on your phone. You probably have AT&T.
Cinn_fml 23
IWABO2 - Calling first usually results in a moderation, no matter what number you actually got, except in some rare occaisions when it looks like a joke. Just thought I'd point that out to help you not get moderated.
legonut6 0
CINN, I don't think he cares.
Cinn_fml 23
Read post #31. :)
kwmfl 4
Ohh. Thats why the other day, I got really excited and posted "first!" , it dissapeared about ten minutes later... dang!
lailax3 0
ahh thts a negative!
nycy 0
which would give you eight
warpig182 0
YDI for needing eyedrops you noob.
pcakewafflebacon 0
police officer pulls you over-- your eyes are red, son. have you been drinking? you say, your eyes are glazed. have you been eating donuts?
Cinn_fml 23
Erm, did you not notice the bottle was hot?
ladies_man217 0
there's no way for the eye drops to be hot but not the bottle...
Cinn_fml 23
Well, I suppose the bottle might have cooled down whereas the actual liquid hadn't, however I doubt the eyedrops would still have been that hot had the bottle cooled down enough for the OP to not notice.
ladies_man217 0
um you're thinking too much about it. either op is a dumbass or this is a fake..
Cinn_fml 23
Thinking is what I do. Usually. :P
ohthebloodygore 16
Well it could be that OP just thought the outside bottle was hot whilst the drops were cool? Or like cinn mentioned it is possible for the outside to have cooled.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
It probably just felt a bit warm to the hands, and op used it assuming it would just be a little bit warm, but eyes are more sensitive and burn easily? idk
Cinn_fml 23
I don't know about you, 'Gore, but if I picked up a bottle that was hot, I'd test how hot the stuff inside was before I applied it somewhere like my eyes. I think maybe I_iz_B's situation is the most likely.
Charlotteeexx 0
ouchhh!