Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, my wife told me that I take her breath away. However, she was talking about my large stomach hitting her while we have sex and knocking the wind out of her with every thrust. FML
Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML
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Top comments
dacho 7
Try ******* her in the ass then.
Glam_fml 0
Sometimes taking a huge shit IS better than sex.
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Comments (74)
KurtLayneCobain 0
Dude, How about you try the magic pill. If her crap is harder than you, you've got some issuessss.
pxthugsta 0
your a ****** retard, use the fish hook technic. **** that ***** doggie style and grab both ends of her mouth from the back and tell her to rapiditly whip her tongue out as if she was eatting a invisible pussay
penguinanpm 0
um how do you no that perve!
overxrated 0
i just giggled.
MagicJosh 0
hit 'er in the shitter
lilarielle14 0
Mann that sucks.. maybe you need to take the male shot ahhaha
paramore7890 0
wow ur wife is a pig!
sryimanasshole 0
next time your having sex shove it in her ass
greengirl8 0
That's disgusting. 1-You listen 2 your wife going to the bathroom? 2-She moans when going 2 the bathroom!!??
lawls 0
LOL, give the girl what she wants !! ;)