Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural suntan from my arm, I also spent several long seconds wondering why it wouldn't come free. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML
Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML
Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML
Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML
Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML
Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML
Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML
Today, I spent twenty minutes looking in the mirror trying to remove a blackhead from my chin. It was a freckle. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
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Top comments
nictransitglory 4
Intelligence is only skin deep.... So keep scrubbing
Kiki242 19
Really? Sounds like something snooki would do.
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Comments (137)
BeRealB 4
And why exactly were you trying to run it off in the first place?
BeRealB 4
Rub*
A7XCamaro 19
Not everyone likes being tan, I personally try to about it if possible.
A7XCamaro 19
Avoid not about
annie_nk 23
Keep scrubbing and it'll eventually come off.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Along with a hefty portion of your skin. Hey, at least it'll be off!
SadIife 6
Use bleach, that will get rid of it.
CptZoe 10
No, no it won't.
SadIife 6
I was being sarcastic. I'll go crawl back in my cave as I failed to humor anyone.
kut17 11
I'm willing to gamble you're the type that looks for your sunglasses when they're on your head.
rainbowbigbird 7
...can't find the cat because they are sitting on it...
CptZoe 10
Hey! Everyone does that! Well... At least I hope they do...
SneakyCaveman 13
Try some steel wool and lemon juice, that should take that tan right off.
rainbowbigbird 7
That Natural Suntan will **** you up, man. Once applied it goes straight for them brain cells and wreaks havoc. But at least you will have the beautiful copper colored skin you've always dreamt of...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Ive done that before; it took me a while to realizes that black people can have freckles.
Kiki242 19
Don't go around spreading myths.
kimg0885 23
Noooooo....... You changed your pic! I loved stoner chipmunk! This one is cute too!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
D: I'll change it back then!
AmericanJedhead 10
Well unless you only recently tanned and aren't used to it then I can't think of a reason why someone would do this. Maybe OP was distracted by something else? Maybe really tired and not thinking straight? I dunno...
SneakyCaveman 13
Op did say they were doing it "absent-mindedly" so it's safe to say something was distracting them. Probably the sound of their brain cells committing suicide.
AmericanJedhead 10
Aha thats hilarious... I would respond with something else but I can't top that:)
CptZoe 10
44, OP said "not so absent mindedly"
SneakyCaveman 13
"not only" *** You might want to give that another read. ;)
CptZoe 10
Aha! You caught me, I'm a skim reader. My bad!
Elovena 9
Your from Japan, you're suppose to be more clever.
ode_2_jessegan 2
Damn Vitamin D's ******* up your brain cells ;)