Today, my 8 year-old adopted daughter told me she wants me to take her back so another family can adopt her because I don't give her enough toys. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter asked me if we could adopt a child. I said no, since we can't afford to support another child. She then asked me if she could just adopt another dad instead. FML
Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
Today, my daughter told me she never wants to see me again because I had an abortion. She wanted me to have the baby and then give it to her so she could raise it as hers. FML
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, at work I had to handle two selfish parents returning their adopted 6 year-old daughter to foster care because, “She doesn’t, like, fit with our lifestyle, and my mom is, like, too old to babysit her anymore and we, like, can’t afford a nanny.” I hate my job. FML
Today, I regret letting my adoptive daughter find her biological father because now he's intent on getting her back. He said he never agreed to giving her up for adoption and will do everything in his power to get her. She's terrified. FML
Today, I heard my 7 year-old step-daughter tell her father over Zoom she cries every night, because she wants to go home with him. I don't have the heart to tell her that he had kicked her and her mom out of the house because he thought mom's stretch marks were unattractive. FML
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Top comments
maskedman 9
That's hurtful. just keep her until the warranty expires.
r6_fml 4
I hope you kept your receipt
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Comments (135)
bigsc 0
1st
MissMel_xo 0
little brat. wow.
I_EAT_THE_POOPOO 0
That nigga MUST be high.
I_EAT_THE_POOPOO 0
That nigga MUST be high.
PoopTrainDix 0
sell that idiot child! sell her to underground sex slavery!
mona_is_here 10
Slap the capricious child, she needs some discipline.
Tasanasanta 0
How does she know what "enough" toys is? And does she expect presents for no reason? Either her friends suck or you spoiled her.
Tasanasanta 0
13- Not even funny, f*ck off
Ragnir 0
She'll be fine until the newest Buzz Lightyear toy comes out, then she'll be a whiny brat again!
Pro_Nothing 9
which is in 2 days, lol
mona_is_here 10
Yeah, 13, that was uncalled for, a bit too much over the edge...
jake927 0
tell her you would take her back but you lost the reciept
noobgang7 5
Buy her less and don't take her back!
twinny_sc 13
Big deal kids say stuff like that all the time. Wait til she's 16, and becomes a real bitch.
WiseGuy79 14
Lol @ Playing with the designs in the carpet Tough love but very effective I'm sure
mfmylifesrsly 30
take away all her toys. then she'll appreciate the ones she has
allenrotstein 0
haley, you're cute! And OP, relax will you? kids say a bunch of crap all the time..
that1guy1 13
Allen, you're creepy. Bring the kid back to the centre then see how she feels in about a month.
YESimmaDoctor 0
agreed with 50, on both things that were said.
b_anhero 0
get out yer ****** checkbook.
mona_is_here 10
Does flirting on FML give one something else besides receiving negative (and truthful) comments? Btw, there's no Haley in comments above, at least in the usernames
KaarmaaBiitchzz 0
these days some kids are just never happy wtv you do for them... and the'll be ungreatfull even if you give them the moon... well, she says she doesnt have enough toys, make it happen for real!! or tell her some kids in africa make soccer balls with plastic bags... maybe she'll realize she's really lucky to have what she has!!!!
UpYoursInAdvance 0
10 I'm surprised that these ******* idiots didn't moderate you yet but they'll moderate the **** out of me... NE way OP I understand she's adopted but sometimes you have to put a ******* brat in their place... whip that ass... that'll teach er...
banananut 0
agree with 28. and that's really cute actually. kids always say stuff they don't mean. when i was little i used to tell my parents i hate them when they wouldn't take me to the toy store.
KingDingALing 9
**** slap her. Problem solved Jk
2kool4skoolyo 0
it's a shame corporal punishment is outlawed in MA. sometimes a time out is not enough
Sprinkle_Donuts 1
wow what an ungrateful child u really should give her back fyl
Krajjan 9
I'm not even going to pretend to give good parenting advice as my little daemon has my genetics and I still have no idea how to overcome that. But uh, good luck.
jimmyismike 0
lol
berrenduh 0
this is y u don't tell them that they're adopted until they get older
barbara_jude_wee_fml 0
just like my nextdoor neighbor....BRAT!
laceyanneman 7
That was in bad taste
maskedman 9
That's hurtful. just keep her until the warranty expires.
CloudEnvy 17
Why would you wait until after the warranty? Surely you'd take action while it was still in effect. That's just dumb.
peacelovekat 0
omg hilarious maybe sehe got a money back guarantee like wal mart if it's not good well give u a refund and a nother product free of charge
xxBrokenHeartxx 0
haha I didn't think they came with warrentys
bkss9811 0
There is no such thing as a warrinty for adoption. Im adopted nd its been 19 years, u cnt give an adopted child back
hueybuntfosho 4
229- it was a joke dumbass
blobishness 8
Learn to spell
bigsc 0
please don't flame me, its the first time I've ever done that. It was a joke, then I realized I couldn't edit that out from my phone.
maskedman 9
Don't worry because the moderators will delete your comment anyway.
MissMel_xo 0
I hit the wrong button to comment, that really wasn't directed at you. lol, sorry!!
heyjenn 0
Awh, are your feelings hurt now?
rougeofwar 0
your chin bugs me :)
MC_Telepathy 0
it makes me very angry
bigsc 0
anyway, does she also happen to have red hair ? I smell a birch slap coming on
mfmylifesrsly 30
hey nothing wrong with redheads!
YESimmaDoctor 0
45, I have a question for you.
mona_is_here 10
I like redheads, wish my kid were one :)
mfmylifesrsly 30
yes 66?
FMLephant 2
Like Junior from the Problem Child movies?
YESimmaDoctor 0
I know it's none of my business but I was just wondering, do you actually know blue coconuts? like have you actually met him in person or did you meet him on fml?
BagleHead 6
ydi for not giving her enough toys selfish byatch
TheiMightyKhaL 2
How is he being a "selfish byatch" for not spoiling his kid?
r6_fml 4
I hope you kept your receipt
tarabelle 7
not even funny.
highsheep 0
failed attempt at bring funny, try harder?
YESimmaDoctor 0
Failed attempt at spelling "being". Try harder?
highsheep 0
lmao ******* grammar Nazi, and I'm on my iPod so it changed it, try harder?
CitizenSnipz 0
Don't like the joke? Return it. Unless you threw out the receipt... I thought it was funny. :D
r6_fml 4
#131 it was funny. You would know that if you weren't a moron who lives a pathetic, humorless life. haha, jk
r6_fml 4
suck my freaking balls "brah"
bigsc 0
lol @ 9.. receipts for foster children.... genius
goldhighways 0
what a little brat
sexybiatchhhhhh 0
agreed
juilly_fml 3
bitch slap!
xdeadxradiox 0
Lol I don't know why, but I laughed at the combination of your picture and comment! XD
uhazsquiads 0
17, hahaha Your picture and comment make a funny combination. xD
amerwin 3
Take away her toys until she leans to appreciate what she does have!