Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML
Today, during gymnastics tryouts, I tried one last move to impress the judge, jumped up but landed crotch first on the beam. I fell off, curled up in pain while everyone just stayed frozen, still waiting on the judge's pick. She barely glanced at me then picked the girl next to me, who ran off happy. FML
Today, I decided to push myself and go to a morning yoga class, despite suffering from horrible insomnia for the past few nights. During child’s pose, I fell dead asleep on my mat and only woke up because I ripped a comedically loud fart and startled myself. FML
Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
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Top comments
kballa21 2
Better lay off those beans...
RadiationNeon 5
Let's see the Chinese Copy that...
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Comments (154)
chimcharx3 15
What's with all the fart FML's lately?
GovernorGeneral 8
There's a global sale on beans...
MissAmz 7
Well, at least you stuck the landing and will be remembered. :P
Michellec9982 18
Well, how did they rate you? :)
dead_insects 18
well, look at it this way... everything you could control you did PERFECTLY, well done!! everybody farts, its just humiliating when its in front of a lot of people, but focus on what you did well... :)
GuitarzanNation 0
You are indeed more talented than me, I certainly wish I could do either one of the feats you described ;-)
RedPillSucks 33
I'm sure you could do the farting part.
bigdude1302 2
I was wondering what the hell that noise was.
bigdude1302 2
I was wondering what the hell that noise was.
paratiisi 0
I guess that's why I woke up so early... Anyway, you did pretty well:)
br0ccoli 15
Everyone has embarrassing moments. You just have to hold your head high even as you hear their snickers behind your back. Besides, that kid in china would have been late to school if your rectal symphony didn't happen. You're a hero.
rcgirl2 11
Did the judges give you an extra 10 for the fart?