Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML
Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML
Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML
Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
swaglesshipster 23
Band kid problems
darryaz 9
At least your clarinet smells like cherries.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
NerdGirl321 27
I play the clarinet also, I'm confused as to how you mixed them up. Cork grease has a very distinct smell.
BBeffedmylife 28
I've been playing clarinet for 10 plus years now and have made this mistake at least 3 times! It is very easy to mix the two up.
rocksmith 15
My cork grease smells like root beer
Arctic741 10
I play alto sax, and my cork grease smells like mint.
bryce0110 23
Same with mine
snowflaky 22
The cork grease I used with my oboe had a minty smell and if I'm not paying close attention, I'll easily mix it up with my Carmex, because I don't know about you, but I don't smell my tube of chapstick before I put it on.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
But why would you not double check and read the label of the thing in your hand before smearing it on your lips? This is the kind of thought that makes me wait for the the inevitable "today in art class I grabbed my chap stick off the table and put it on. It turns out I grabbed a glue stick. Ow" type FML.
blackonblight 33
102, because you're probably trying to prevent cracked lips before the next song starts in literally 30 seconds and grabbed the stick out of your case without looking. But cork grease smell is nasty, I'd probably notice.
netflixislove 32
Band problems… Once a kid in my orchestra class ate rosin
BritSkits 22
I've seen that happen more than once. Still not sure why it happened, but it has.
GhostDuck 30
In my orchestra back in elementary school kids used to tell each other it was made of syrup to try to trick them into licking the rosin. Sometimes the freshmen tell each other this in my orchestra as a joke to the ones who are just learning to play.
Futacy 30
The first one doesn't sound too bad.
dragoongirl90 34
H... How?
Octosauce 8
Cork grease comes in sticks that look a lot like chapstick
Enslaved 38
Now when you play your clarinet, it'll be like you kissed a girl and liked it.
False_Stupidity 42
Well played.
DalekBubbles 18
I see what you did there.
blackonblight 33
You... You do know where cork grease goes on a clarinet compared to where your mouth goes, right?
I'madumbass 19
I don't. I am a brass player. I play trumpet. We have our own issues. You know, spit and type of mouthpiece. Things like that.
Emzinatorbot 26
I read cork grease as **** grease...
a1_z9 10
Glad I wasn't the only one, there was me thinking it was a trendy new word for lube!
molzipan 16
I had to do a double take when I thought that I read **** grease.
Livin_Like_Larry 29
Is it possible for someone to pop your cherry then???
gruvychild 17
This one time at band camp.....
Lipton_T_5479 9
I play clarinet as well and I can't even count the number of times I've done this.
DanDRoberts14 7
As a clarinet player myself, YDI because they aren't the same color and they look different.
lil_ham1644 29
Mine was in a Chapstick tube & was clearish white. Not that different from Chapstick
DJRy 13
#25 Actually. Cork grease does come in chap stick like packaging for easier application. c: Accidents happen, they didn't deserve it. ;)