Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML
Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML
Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML
Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
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Top comments
swaglesshipster 23
Band kid problems
darryaz 9
At least your clarinet smells like cherries.
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Comments (89)
Scryll 17
Om nom nom nom cork grease
BeautifulLiesx 24
Chapstick works great as cork grease, and cork grease as Chapstick tastes gross, but is totally okay to use. :)
whtevrzxx 3
That happened to me once
earthality 4
As a saxophone player, I use cork grease too, and I've never had cork grease that smelled like gym floor.
buckdharma 38
Roll over Beethoven.
StaceeeP 23
My friend saw my cork grease in my case once when I was in school and used it thinking it was lip balm. Served her right for taking things without asking
davek 36
Something about kissing a girl and liking it.
fml_user_314 6
been there too. the chapstick was too slippery and the clarinet fell out and broke. it was brand new. adding to that, the cork came off with it...
Mandybruin 15
Dang. This made my heart weep. Going to go hug my clarinet now.
lumene 17
Been there!
schlippy 6
I use cork grease as Chapstick all the time