Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML
Today, I introduced the girl I was talking to my best friend, and we all hung out. Until this day, her and I were doing great. After my friend left, she started gushing about how hot he is. He wasn't hitting on her at all. I reminded her that, and that he has a girlfriend. She was calm, but visibly upset. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML
Today, my best friend is completely head-over-heels for his girlfriend, has been buying her very expensive stuff and gave her the ring of compromise after 4 years of relationship. The problem is, I just found out that the girlfriend has been sexting with someone else, and is sure to dump my friend for that guy. FML
Today, I invited over my best friend, whom I've loved for over a year, since she had to tell me "something important". I got excited and thought she was going to tell me she loved me too. She ended up coming out to me, and wanted to know if I would meet her girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her best male friend, a creepy "Nice Guy" type. When she went to the bathroom, he came closer to me and said, "She thinks she likes you, but I'm destined to be with her, I saw it in the stars. Nobody can love her like me." FML
Today, I learned that my best friend has been cheating on his girlfriend for 2 months. This is the same person who, 2 months ago, wanted to break our friendship off because he thought we "got too close" and felt like he was cheating on his girlfriend by spending too much time with me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, my supposed "best friend" started going out with the girl I'd just split up with, immediately after she said she wanted to see other people. FML
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Top comments
hard_candy 25
someone sounds very insecure.
ComoEsJuan 24
Such sharp words from a psycho.
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Comments (119)
LadyNightowl 17
You should definitely let your friend know. I've seen situations like this get really bad for everyone involved. If he doesn't take your words to heart, perhaps take a step back. I'm not saying drop your friend, but for a bit it might be wise to not be around too much when she is.
ligerzero459 24
That's a warning sign, man. Let your bro know so he can get out of there ASAP
ace666 8
lol reminds me of caroline from that 70's show
Calingaladha 21
I guess she's very protective of her Swedeheart
snappingpassion 4
I know the feeling, show her who she's messing with. tell your best friend what she said and if he doesn't believe you, make him.
MyDadLeftMeInKFC 21
Some people are ridiculously territorial >.< you didn't deserve that OP!
fastnachter 15
My best friend and I come as a package deal. When we meet people, we make it a point to get this across. If you don't like one of us, both are on the way out the door. Let this bitch know your friendship trumps her dumb ass and if he really is your friend, this will not be tolerated. Good luck!
Suaria 38
I would record what she says on your phone next time this happens so you can go to him for proof.
brittany1638 4
someone needs to grow up!
MegaExplosives 17
Was her namr Yuno Gasai by any chance?
nevermindthemind 18
that's a possibility if only they were from Japan and anime apparently