Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML
Today, I introduced the girl I was talking to my best friend, and we all hung out. Until this day, her and I were doing great. After my friend left, she started gushing about how hot he is. He wasn't hitting on her at all. I reminded her that, and that he has a girlfriend. She was calm, but visibly upset. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML
Today, my best friend is completely head-over-heels for his girlfriend, has been buying her very expensive stuff and gave her the ring of compromise after 4 years of relationship. The problem is, I just found out that the girlfriend has been sexting with someone else, and is sure to dump my friend for that guy. FML
Today, I invited over my best friend, whom I've loved for over a year, since she had to tell me "something important". I got excited and thought she was going to tell me she loved me too. She ended up coming out to me, and wanted to know if I would meet her girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her best male friend, a creepy "Nice Guy" type. When she went to the bathroom, he came closer to me and said, "She thinks she likes you, but I'm destined to be with her, I saw it in the stars. Nobody can love her like me." FML
Today, I learned that my best friend has been cheating on his girlfriend for 2 months. This is the same person who, 2 months ago, wanted to break our friendship off because he thought we "got too close" and felt like he was cheating on his girlfriend by spending too much time with me. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, my supposed "best friend" started going out with the girl I'd just split up with, immediately after she said she wanted to see other people. FML
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Top comments
hard_candy 25
someone sounds very insecure.
ComoEsJuan 24
Such sharp words from a psycho.
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Comments (119)
aire101 16
I would agree if they had been dating a while... but a month is no where near long enough for a bf/gf to mean more than a best friend. I wouldn't even choose them over my cat.
JenJen666 3
I would have just laughed in that girls face is she said that to me.
AlyssHeart 7
i have one of those. my best friend and i have known one another for seven years they have been dating for two maybe three months. she moved him in and hates when he talks to me...
papabear88 6
haha, reminds me of a scene from "Friends With Benefits"
horneyhic 15
51 that kinda depends how new the gf/bf is 3 weeks in shouldn't trump a 20 year friendship
demonfacee 14
Wow, she must be jealous or very insecure.
princess318 6
Trust me I know the feeling, when my best friend since kindergarten started dating this ghetto bitch she followed me and my roommate to our complex at threatened us if we ever got to close to him. She was quite possibly the scariest person I've ever met.
Hinup 11
touch him, everytime she watches.. just to piss her off. its funny
jaydemonkey 6
Oh my god! Sounds like she is a psycho!
DanielleinDC 34
Wow, OP, your friend has found himself a true prize. F his life; he's dating a lunatic.