Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's husband for the first time. It went surprisingly well, despite neither of us knowing the other existed before tonight, but it's still a miserable situation no matter what. FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML
Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML
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Top comments
xKoga 0
YDI for trying to get a quick one night stand, I highly doubt you were there for cookies and milk. If she isn't happy with her marriage she should step up and get a divorce, and not be a cheating *****.
tipoo_fml 0
YDI if you knew she was married, your life sucks if you didn't.
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Comments (66)
wow2much 0
haha, when you die hes gonna unbury you and feed you to the dogs... YDI douche bag
driedpeaches 0
you do know that the "graveyard" shift doesn't mean he works in a grave yard don't you ? ******* retard
wow2much 0
i dont care, hes still a douche bag
RMC000 7
YTDI for fooling about with a married woman. Should've asked that first.
mekeskidi_fml 0
I guess the OP went to her place because HIS wife was at home.
phantombrother 4
I guess since he was sick you didn't go with the 3-way?
Suckazgetburned 0
That is really gay! If your husband/wife was sick would you wear a ring out to a bar.... trying to pick up someone? That is the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard! when people cheat they dont wanna get caught dumbass
Thanateros 1
Typical female slutting around
Candice_stengel 0
Sucks for you for being a cheating whorish dickbag douchemunch. :P
KRiddle 15
Awkward... Threesome?
DusktheKat 12
THERE WAS A STORY ON HERE ABOUT THE GUY THAT YOU DESCRIBED
blackwidowtaco 31
This life learned lesson will teach you to check for a wedding band next time.