Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML
Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, I was helping my elderly dementia client with her toilet. I reached in both front and back to pull up her pants for her. "Not too hard, nice and easy..." she said with a weird smile. I looked over to see I was actually pulling her nipple. FML
Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, while volunteering at a senior care center, I witnessed a woman begin to remove her trousers. Then she began tearing apart her diaper. She then began to explore her body. I was unable to stop her. FML
Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML
Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Oh wow. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
jio_freed 0
You must have magic fingers
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Comments (234)
kendalle_fml 0
How embarrassing for her, that is not something she can help. Unless she said come on keep doin it or something.
hawkloverr 0
well that was nice of you
lich_fml 0
Ahaha oh man. That's great. FYL indeed.
Rivlas 0
Why are there so many comments saying how gross that is? If she's in a long term care facility, there's a good chance she has dementia so she won't remember it next time anyways, and no, you don't use a cold washcloth on any resident unless they prefer them that way. I do wonder how much "cleaning" the op had to do in order to achieve those results though, maybe had a really messy bm that was everywhere?
RollrcoasterDude 0
Ewww that's gross. :p
saailaway 0
im gunna puke
myotherlips 0
This sounds like it could have been a 98 year old lady at MY job... interesting. I have the same profession.
imsleepingbeauty 0
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! That's sick.
Colby_Colbert 0
I want 2 die
cheertigers 0
Ewww that's disgusting