Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML
Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, I was helping my elderly dementia client with her toilet. I reached in both front and back to pull up her pants for her. "Not too hard, nice and easy..." she said with a weird smile. I looked over to see I was actually pulling her nipple. FML
Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Frozen
Today, while volunteering at a senior care center, I witnessed a woman begin to remove her trousers. Then she began tearing apart her diaper. She then began to explore her body. I was unable to stop her. FML
Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML
Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML
Leave it
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Oh wow. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
jio_freed 0
You must have magic fingers
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (234)
RIKANA 0
Ok, I don't realy think that should have been shaird. So times is best to keep thinks to your self. RI
friscofool 0
i didnt eat breakfast yet and i jus threw up on the floor.
TheGasMaskGuy 0
Want to change my diaper?
sighs123 0
hey, at least you made someone happy. isn't that your goal as a caretaker? weird way to do it, yes, and unfortunate for you, .but you made someone happy!
fmyoptical 0
omg I just gagged. damn fyl
soccerstar6115 0
If ur a guy, why would they tell u to go change an old ladys diper??? That company is retarded
seb12992 0
Alrighty then...
sexpistol 0
how do you know she actually orgasmed?
Lythiaren 8
O_O What. . . . What.
Brooklynxman 0
Have you ever noticed after not getting some or getting off for a while you get off at the drop of a hat? Probably what happened here. No special skill on the OP's part, and probably not a huge amount of cleaning either. Just extreme frustration on the patient's part, so that when she felt something down there, whether she was coherent or not, she let loose. But seriously, OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD NO! If I hadnt already been sick today and lost everything, I'd be tossing it up now.