Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I cracked my back while pooping at work. It was so bad I had to go to the hospital and get carried out of the toilet by paramedics. A $4,000 bill later, my coworkers will not shut up about how funny it is. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
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Top comments
BigSissy 14
I’ll beat Richard to it and say - that sounds like a shitty situation.
jbuckets_404 39
Shat happens....
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Comments (10)
Mungolikecandy 19
As you probably know as a physio, that may be a sign of something else at play.
BigSissy 14
I’ll beat Richard to it and say - that sounds like a shitty situation.
RichardPencil 32
That’s really more PenguinPal’s department. Besides, you missed the ...wait on it... The dramatic pause sets up the whole joke!
RichardPencil 32
Maybe you were massaging a little too low?
TheSminty1 17
Being a quadriplegic I've often been on the other side. That's no picnic either
smartjaguargurl 17
Sounds more like f his life
jbuckets_404 39
Shat happens....
donb23 23
At least it was shit and not something else. Or was that his idea of a “happy ending “?
Gemfez 17
Your massages are obviously very relaxing.