Ear Invasion
Albuquerque, United States
Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
nk
United States
Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML
Anonymous
United States
Waxing and waning
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
jaqlove
Clementon, United States
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Xandriajoy10
Australia
Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying two minutes of my life. FML
Anonymous
Littleton, United States
Top o' the mornin' to ya
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
Anonymous
Ewwwwww
Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML
John
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Saint Lucia
Creepy crawlies
Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML
Anonymous
Victoria, Canada
I am the passenger
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
caempa
Australia
Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML
Top comments
Codezlol 21
Did you name him Jiminy??
isallwaysme 27
that little bugger
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Comments (90)
lexieB2014 19
At least it wasn't a roach
The_Thinker 18
... *crickets chirp*
SoMuchWut 8
This would have been the perfect time to go do some open mic, you could provide the average jokes and the unamused reactions all by yourself!
testestestes123 4
I don't know about you but if I had an insect in my ear my reaction would look anything but unamused. I'd be flopping around like a fish out of water. Which actually would probably be great entertainment for an open mic.
hopelessteej 8
did you have a bugging sensation that something wasn't right?
SoMuchWut 8
I bet he was itching to know what was going on.
hopelessteej 8
i guess you could say he was jumping out of his skin in anticipation
pradip 26
If something goes into your ear, close the other ear, nose and your mouth. The thing comes out if it's alive. Try this before going to the hospital.
testestestes123 4
Wtf? If he can feel it moving its probably alive. If he can't feel it moving how would he know or even think it might be an insect. If he can see it in there, use tweezers. Also, an insect is not going to be able to burrow through your ear drum and get through to you nose or mouth. You sir, ...fail...again. Hahaha. Just kidding. But seriously, you fail a lot.
pradip 26
I meant closing your nose and stuffs causes a change in the inner ear canal environment for the insect, which may cause it to come out into outer more aerial environment. ^^It may also prevent it from penetrating the ear drum and flying out of the other ear.
bfsd42 20
23, why are you such an asshole? Pradip tries hard to make good comments and English is not his first language. YOU fail.
safx09 7
it is impossible for something to go 'in ear and out the other' unless it's words someone doesn't want to hear or a gunshot. If you close your mouth and nose and 'stuffs' you will not be able to breathe.. in addition, doing that can change the pressure in your inner ear but won't affect the outer portion (ear canal) where the bug is hanging out, at least not in a way that would prevent it from doing what it wants.
sophiekat 19
How did it survive?
testestestes123 4
On a steady diet of ear wax
Vidrill 22
And I thought I was having a bad day for spilling my coffee.... I am never going to sleep with unprotected ears ever again...
testestestes123 4
Really? You aren't gonna sleep with unprotected ears ever again? I'm calling BS. That reminds me, I once knew this girl that had a cricket crawl into her vajay....
Enslaved 38
Well, no BS here when I say, I am never going to sleep with an unprotected vajay...
testestestes123 4
Don't use my cricket story as an excuse to stuff a ***** in there before going to sleep at night. Do it because that's how you prefer to get "deep sleep"
Enslaved 38
Awe testestestes! You had to go one step beyond prev! How is it over there? Never mind, I don't even want to know! :P
testestestes123 4
Sorry I couldn't help myself. Plus I know that horney cat ladies like yourself get turned on by those mental images. Just kidding. But seriously...that's a proven fact.
Schiffy 18
May your life with your new friend be full of fun.
ocramavaf 15
a cricket saved pinocchio so I'd say your life is looking up
Vinnie500 14
Sucks to have ears so dirty that bugs can live there.