Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Comforting
Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML
Perv'
Today, someone tried to rob my boss's store and I had a knife held to my neck. That’s not the FML. The FML is that, for some reason, it excited me and I got a boner. The thief told me I was all kinds of messed up and left without stealing anything. My god, I’m some kind of freak. FML
Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Hey good lookin'
Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
What could've been
Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Top comments
joeyl2008 29
You need hookers. lots of hookers
Tripartita 45
It doesn't matter what you do OP, they will NEVER love you the way you love them! Trust me… On an unrelated note, I'd advise you to look up the word "agalmatophilia".
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Comments (58)
colder13 10
I know desk jobs are boring, but stop undressing your girlfriend at work. in fact, stop bringing her to work with you.
c_wyld 21
But was the mannequin hot?
adamduhhh 7
did anybody ever see that movie called mannequin. where it came to life and the dude ****** the mannequin lol
Mysterious_one 26
Skout bro..
justelizabeth 12
can't say I blame you. some of those mannequins are pretty sexy.
CandyApple88 13
Qatar? Don't you have 4 wives?