Anonycock
Doha, Qatar
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
imaginationdarling
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Phoenix, United States
Comforting
Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML
Anonymous
Perv'
Today, someone tried to rob my boss's store and I had a knife held to my neck. That’s not the FML. The FML is that, for some reason, it excited me and I got a boner. The thief told me I was all kinds of messed up and left without stealing anything. My god, I’m some kind of freak. FML
ohcrap
United States
Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML
xsnqw
San Francisco, United States
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
Thanks dicks
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Creepster
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United States
Hey good lookin'
Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML
AlexK
United Kingdom
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
SoMuchForThatIdea
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
What could've been
Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML
FML
United States
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
aXel
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Top comments
joeyl2008 29
You need hookers. lots of hookers
Tripartita 45
It doesn't matter what you do OP, they will NEVER love you the way you love them! Trust me… On an unrelated note, I'd advise you to look up the word "agalmatophilia".
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Comments (58)
andrmac 25
For a laugh watch the movie Mannequin from the 80's although that may be like **** for you.
radigen 11
Time to get a life
Garnetshaddow 30
That's harsh. Maybe OP works a lot or is in school. OP could also be introverted and shy and have a hard time talking to people. I do think though... OP might benefit from some quality alone time with the internet. It might be relaxing.
freddygasman 18
Or, if he likes inanimate objects, might i suggest a sturdy doll.
The_ghetto_mango 25
WHOA, bro. Think on the bright side. At least you know you don't have a problem. You can still be aroused!
Classy_Sassy15 18
At least you know it still works.
The_ghetto_mango 25
I JUST SAID THAT.
ninjaskittle 9
I guess things were a little stiff
doge_ram 16
hahaha mabrook habibi
Berber260 14
Just make the mannequin a hole and you're ready
Kaihara_ 5
maybe you have a thing for wii fit trainer?
Mike_Oxhard 14
You got a hard on from touching a plastic doll? Good thing you don't work in the toy department.
vikky538 29
Do you know 46 times rule on 9gag.. Please follow and you will never not have these problem