Today, I'm seven months pregnant and going to college. I had to use the bathroom, but all of the bathrooms at my building were closed, so I had to walk to the next building, a block away. I didn't make it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, they're pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I'm three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and I went to pee at 2 a.m., with the light off to avoid waking my husband. The wanker had left the seat up, so I fell right into the bowl and got stuck with my cheeks in the water because my belly wouldn’t let me get up. My useless sleeping husband couldn’t hear me yell for help. FML
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML
Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
Today, I walked a good 5 minutes across campus, through a few large hallways and up some stairs, with about foot of toilet paper hanging out of my pants before somebody pointed it out to me. FML
Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML
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Top comments
jbivens1992 17
Its a well kept secret...but every pregnant woman is entitled to at least one accident per pregnancy. Good for you though for staying in school throughout your pregnancy! That takes commitment and a hefty amount of will power. :)
Enkeria 30
I know how that feels OP! I've been there once when I was pregnant. Don't sweat it. Just brush it off. Tell people the baby kicked your bladder and it was too late.
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Comments (69)
igg125 30
Just tell people your water broke. Hopefully you don't run into anyone you know.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Yeah, lie to them and when you come back, still only 7 months pregnant, the next day, they will be very, very confused. Or, you could admit that you are a pregnant woman and babies can be heavy on your bladder. It's not a big deal, it's pee. It's not like you shat everywhere.
mm12344 8
"I put it back in because it wasn't done yet!"
thesunlord 15
167,733,277,257,632,742th
SebastianCT 14
That sounds like a crappy situation. No pun intended
saxaddict122 14
Bc people who don't intend a pun put no pun intended in the post...
ruby64329 6
Not really possible for a pun... Since she had to pee and you said crappy.
OkitaCockroach 19
OP didn't mention pee.
Redmond64 16
What does being pregnant have to do with it?
catherinecas 30
Being pregnant can weaken your bladder and I think for some women makes it less able to hold urine. And sometimes if the baby kicks a certain it can make you wet yourself.
Redmond64 16
Legit did not know that
Xamry14 10
When you have to go while pregnant, you have to GO! Not only does the uterus expand and press against your bladder, but you also produce more urine than normal. And for some reason babies like to aim for the bladder when they move. One of the more troublesome things about being pregnant.
kieferyost 2
You should of just gone in the bushes
TheRussianNavy 11
He's right you know. (#24).
mergeterge 24
Not necessarily... If all of a sudden you lose control and start peeing your pants, sitting in some bushes won't help. Might as well accept and and be thankful that all you have to clean are the pants! Jumping in bushes sounds messy and almost dangerous at that point of the pregnancy.
lynnlady 6
It can be hard to get up off the couch when you are 7 months pregnant, nevermind getting up from a squatting position. If you can get down there in the first place.
Enkeria 30
I know how that feels OP! I've been there once when I was pregnant. Don't sweat it. Just brush it off. Tell people the baby kicked your bladder and it was too late.
jbivens1992 17
Its a well kept secret...but every pregnant woman is entitled to at least one accident per pregnancy. Good for you though for staying in school throughout your pregnancy! That takes commitment and a hefty amount of will power. :)
Chicolita 4
Amen
mattyiscool123 26
That's not right, shouldn't there always be at least one bathroom open, regardless of men or women?
Lily_Rain77 25
What "should be" and "what are" are unfortunately two different things
Vanessa_Leeann26 17
I've had 2 kids, I feel for you OP. I really do.
catherinecas 30
I would recommend wearing a pad or a panty-liner. Accidents happen! Blame pregnancy and the bun for kicking you in the bladder.
Feklfekl2222 32
A pad isn't going to do much for a full scale accident
catherinecas 30
But it'll help catch a ton of leakage. My mom has had four kids and always wore a pad in case she had an accident.