Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML
Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML
Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
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Top comments
Meeeheeh 0
Classic Happens to me 5 times a day. It's just a YDI, because you should always look in your pockets =p.
untoldfame 3
good job. you sir, are a champion.
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Comments (79)
cutebebe778 0
I'll admit I keep my cell phone in my pocket alot and almost always forget it's there. Not really a FYL or YDI..just be extra careful next time..and if you think you'll forget taking your keys, put an alarm on your phone before you go out.
cutebebe778 0
Ok once again, I failed to take my time reading an FML :p ignore my last post..if you think you lost your keys you can probably try calling the manager of your building and see if he/she can open your door for you
guessingvulture 0
#14 it's four sentences not including 'FML'! Jesus Christ. That's sad for your stuff. But really, you could've just called someone you live with. That's the beauty of living with people. But... question: Do you just carry loose keys around with you? That's what it sounds like. Put that monkey on a chain, preferably one with a giant FIND ME tag on it.
JayXL14 0
Stupid... why would you think anyone have sympathy for you?
DameGreyWulf 1
Ooo, ouch. Nice job. You should have said instead "Leave a spare key under the welcome mat." YDI.
zchpro 0
here's your sign
PokeSponge123 3
Should've looked everywhere, YDI. Sorry about whatever was stolen though. XP
cutebebe778 0
#15..shutup. I'm on my phone lol..I didn't bother reading the post thoroughly. Big whoop.
zargon 1
I assume that was directed at #19 but, at any rate, if you're not going to bother reading carefully enough to even know WTF is going on, why bother commenting? That just seems silly.
WonderBlunder 0
YDI for leaving the door unlocked.
Dillybar 0
That's why you have guard dogs.
icertainlysuck 0
YDI, especially in this economy. How about getting a german shepherd or an alarm system or SOMETHING