Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML
Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML
Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
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Top comments
Meeeheeh 0
Classic Happens to me 5 times a day. It's just a YDI, because you should always look in your pockets =p.
untoldfame 3
good job. you sir, are a champion.
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Comments (79)
aback 5
So, who all knew you'd left the place unlocked? Do you have drug-addicted teenagers, or teens with shady friends? Are the other people you live with kind of scummy? Seems an awful coincidence.
BWC1234 0
number 29 hes talking about his keys
AAAAHHHH12 2
Wow. That would be the brain fart of the week in my dictionary.
XanimalloverX 0
What the hell does YDI stand for. Check your damn pockets next time instead of being a stupid idiot and putting a big sign saying COME ROB ME on the roof of your house check your damn pockets
foolsangel 4
YDI = You deserved it.
noshitsherlock 0
Oh wow that sucks. I'm so grateful I live in a good neighborhood. A few years ago, our front door would malfunction and just open when the deadbolt wasn't locked. The door was wide open all day, a few different times, and nothing was touched! :-D I love quiet suburbia!
may_cause_fail 0
...Front doors don't "malfunction". Unless you have one of those doors from Hitchhiker's Guide.
naomi9241 0
Actually, the door of my parents' house used to do that sort of thing until they got the lock fixed. You could only lock it from the inside by putting a lot of weight against it and so had to leave out another door, and if it wasn't locked properly the wind could blow it open..
Badash28 0
Maybe you should move to a better area
sparxva 12
It probably didn't make any difference at all that the door was unlocked.
midwestjerk 0
Good job, dumbass. While you were at it, you could have made signs and arrows out of brightly colored paper asking for people to rob your house.
stupiidx3 0
you are funny. why would you tell them to leave the door unlock? thats bascially telling people " Welcome to my home, you're welcome to anything you want! " you could have just picked up the keys from a family member....
lexiBRo 0
.
ihatestupidppl 0
I'd say YDI, but that's because I'm a New Yorker and thus super paranoid about locks and what not lol. Supposedly I live in a "good" part of NYC, and I'm literally across the street from a police station (I can look into their windows from mine), and I still will not leave the house without my keys. If it was something really important that I MUST leave the house for, I'd ask my landlord to lock it up for me. (Which I realize is not an option if you have a house so I'll give you a FYL there). But if it's something like a trip to the grocery store, I'll wait till someone comes home or I find my key.