Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML
Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML
Today, I thought I'd locked my house keys in my locker at work. Not having any replacement nearby, I decided to cut the padlock with the saw of my pocket-knife. It took 20 minutes and four cuts into my hand to destroy the padlock. It took another five seconds to find the missing key in my jacket. FML
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML
Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML
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Top comments
NippsSlipps 10
Checking your pockets for keys before you break a window usually works. But that's just me.
Airman1988 9
So you managed to search the ground and find a spoon but not your own pocket for a key?
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Comments (144)
luongo6 0
Don't worry, it happens to all of us :p
bene201 0
Nice try
NuTrees 9
Both of you, plus the OP are ******* stupid.
jaredjudd21 2
Chinese people have spoons?
Danny0522 8
Its these types of FMLs that make me fear for the sake of humanity
princessbits 17
OP you are officially a dumbass. Wouldn't you check your pockets first if you think you lost a small object like your key?
VoteForTaco 8
Wow....epic fail OP.....epic fail...
takeapieandrun 9
You completely deserved this one, OP
So2011 4
IKR. That must suck that OP didn't check their pockets so they totally deserved that. Maybe now it can't happen next time.
nahgemoohc 17
yeah...what a dumbass.
daminantion 14
I thought the Chinese were expert ninjas? Hmm guess I went "out on a limb" on that one.
YayorNay 8
Ninjas are from japan.
xSonic 9
My girlfriend said my penis is a ninja :/
t765234 10
China didn't even have anything close to ninjas at any point in recorded history, ninjas were fuedal japanese farmers.
t765234 10
*usually
todayimabear 0
68, is your penis a ninja because you can't find it?
xSonic 9
Yes
NippsSlipps 10
Checking your pockets for keys before you break a window usually works. But that's just me.
Garyy_fml 11
Do you try to be an asshole?
rahavan 15
67 do you always whine?
snakerake 10
Why break the window and climb through it, before you check your pockets for the keys?
tingway 4
don't you usually search your own pockets/bags first before you attempt breaking in?
Arxikist 3
Sneaky bastards those keys are.
LolCakes111 7
The glass! Is the glass ok? Do we need an ambulance?
flux_panic 18
And what about the spoon? First being left outside. Then the poor thing was being used to smash a window against its will.
lalablabla100 6
This made me laugh so much
jrsylilballer6 7
Why break the window ?
abbyelizabeth 9
Seriously, it's hard to feel bad for OP. Maybe you should just look in your pocket next time, because there is about a 90% chance of it being there.