Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML
Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
Today, I took my nephew to the zoo and spent the day telling him fun animal facts. At the giraffe enclosure, I explained that giraffes can't make sounds. Right on cue, one let out the loudest snorting noise I've ever heard. My six year-old nephew looked at me and said, "Maybe Google isn't always right." FML
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, I was teaching a class, but the kids were all talking and chattering. After three soapbox-style speeches about how, "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went, "Meow." FML
Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
forest1wolf 9
The circle of life!
kevsandy303 12
You shouldn't be lion to them! It's the Circle of Life! Hakunna Matata!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (93)
Bluejaywilde 10
Just use the old "They're playing" excuse and move to the next exhibit.
perfectflower 12
What happens at the zoo stays at the zoo
diagnosed 15
it's a natural fact of life set everything must procreate however. at least you didn't have to sit there and watch a baboon wacky off. and then reach down and write his fingers through his stuff and then eat it
misterjez 15
It's a lion wrestling match
ideasrule 13
Tell them the truth, OP. The supposition that knowledge of reproduction would scar children for life is nothing but religious propaganda, designed to make people consider their bodies shameful rather than part of their identity.
Bearsmomma 30
OP can't just tell the truth. That a parent's job and many would likely freak out if they found out OP had told it in a way they disapproved of/before the parents feel their child is ready/ just told the kids at all. Very touchy, I agree, when you are put in that situation with someone else's child. Sorry OP; FYL
madisonrose626 5
"They're playing with each other." Done. You should be prepared to explain something like that.
zfchatroulette 24
Hahaha, you weren't the only one that got put in a position. Giggity.
simoncat 11
Leapfrog with an unwilling participant.
CanCann 16
Wrestling
katnisse12 6
The deleted scene between Simba and Nala in The Lion King.