Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML
Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML
Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
the warthog is just marking his next mate.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Eye-candy. ._.
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Comments (66)
flockz 20
the warthog is just marking his next mate.
THE_A_TEEN 28
The new "*********** ****" exhibit at the zoo is coming into fruition?
flockz 20
since when do we need an exhibit?
chlorinegreen 27
You should of know that if the kid has no problem throwing things at a warthog he probably doesn't care what you think either. By the way what's a warthog?
THE_A_TEEN 28
So that you can legally show that stuff off in public without looking at a computer screen. Well, you do need to fend off those angry protesters in the distance... cholrinegreen: a warthog is a wild pig.
THE_A_TEEN 28
*chlorinegreen Oh **** me, I misspelled your name...
Justforlolz 14
You all are ******* sick and disgusting. I like it...
chlorinegreen 27
24- happens to the best of us 47- okay total dumb moment I really read that wrong. I was reading it like warth-og. Teaches me to read at like 4 in the morning. I feel really stupid now...
ledstratdak 0
22- it's a vehicle in halo
Nadeslos 4
A pig with tusks found in the wild
koolkat27 13
50- are you in a tanning bed?
uniongirl02 0
Warthog. Such a funny word.
CABOOSE8563 0
Hey, a free lollipop!
yumlicious 4
I personally would be more exited about the Warthog piss.
CuteDumBlonde64 11
^^ I'm going to have nightmares about what you just said there. :( Realized what you have just done...
xGraycloud 4
18, I don't think Caboose was trying to make a sexual reference... She was hit by a REAL lollipop, therefore free lollipop. No need to have a nightmare over that...
jigglypuff100 5
Yeah, but it really hurt
drealmorales 2
Should have gone the slower way. :/
Strafeh 9
Most people don't like to go your way
LilAngel606 5
but if she did the kid could of been gone and throwing candy at some other exhibit
THE_A_TEEN 28
Lollipop and warthog piss?? Just be thankful you didn't run straight into an elephants arse.
builditbetter09 3
In the warthog exhibit?
twinny_sc 13
What flavor was the lollipop?
beatleskinks 5
I've gotten hit in the eye by a lollipop before... hurt like **** >_< Should have gone the other way OP...
Enslaved 38
Dum-Dum
StoryOfTheYear 15
Eye-candy. ._.
deviable 9
Badum tsssh.
volcomnicolee 3
noone messes with pumbaa's candy time >:l
lovelydarlings 6
*When I was a young warthog!!!!!*
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
Next time, don't take short cuts.
THE_A_TEEN 28
But...but..but how am I supposed to beat mario at Mario Kart 7???