Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML
Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
Today, I took my nephew to the zoo and spent the day telling him fun animal facts. At the giraffe enclosure, I explained that giraffes can't make sounds. Right on cue, one let out the loudest snorting noise I've ever heard. My six year-old nephew looked at me and said, "Maybe Google isn't always right." FML
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, I was teaching a class, but the kids were all talking and chattering. After three soapbox-style speeches about how, "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went, "Meow." FML
Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML
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Top comments
forest1wolf 9
The circle of life!
kevsandy303 12
You shouldn't be lion to them! It's the Circle of Life! Hakunna Matata!
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Comments (93)
SuperDanielNL 23
Ah the joy of nature, be happy in a few months there will be very cute lion cubs at the zoo. Bring the children along then, that'll be fun.
DDCA 24
Even Disney approves of "the circle of life"
RedPillSucks 33
OP: the lions are doing a really bad job at playing "leap frog" Kids: Why don't they just stop that and **** like normal lions? OP: perhaps you should discuss this with your parents.
Relenaz 9
LOL!!
WolfAtTheDoor 7
Ignorance is bliss...should've just pretended you had no idea what the lions were doing. "Maybe they're playing leap frog, or giving each other a piggy-back ride--Oh, Look! Penguins!! Over here kids!"
TheNewGuy03 29
Well, I think it would be better to just tell them tactfully that they're mating. After all, they *are* second-graders and probably would have no grasp on what sex truly is. The key word here is "tactfully."
WolfAtTheDoor 7
yes...Mating, then leave it at that. I agree, though I could see some of today's parents blowing it out of proportion :/
skyeyez9 25
My daughter saw a horse with its 2ft penis hanging down and asked if that was another leg.
skyeyez9 25
She was 3 at the time and I lied and said "Yes. It's a deformed horse with an extra leg." She replied "Awwww poor horsie."
loveistwisted 10
So you tell them why? Not that big of a deal.
Satoaoi 13
hwuheuheuhue
Relenaz 9
Just tell them matter-of-factly that they are mating, and trying to make baby lions, and that "we should give them some privacy now" and go see some other animal. Kids are only as weird about stuff as adults make it to be. Still a funny story though. :D
panda_lou 11
I once lead a trail ride and two horses in the herd decided to get busy. Of course it HAD to happen as I'm with a 6year old girl. We went with the hugging scenario. . . Def. a hard job for someone other than the parents. I feel for ya!!
charvisioku 22
I'll never understand why people make situations like this awkward. Sex is sex. Deal with it. Be thankful it wasn't a pair of baboons. That's never pretty xD
panda_lou 11
It's not awkward but you can't give them the info on sex because one they wouldn't understand and two parents these days are so protective that you could get in to a lot of trouble for explaining something like this to a child that isn't yours. So that puts the teacher in to an awkward position and what to say.