Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML
Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
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Top comments
courtneyburgessx 18
Seems like you must have a very dangerous weapon down there
johnjkl 22
I guess your dick was just to big to be taken on the plane
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Comments (86)
lunanight515 7
I had it happen to me before and I was wearing athletic shorts so idk what they thought I was hiding in my crotch I had to get pat down and keep walking through the stupid X-ray thing
MarkGaus 12
I got balls of steel
coried91 28
What do your balls have to do with OP's situation?
shepardkinz 19
Testicles are at the crotch area....
Adeptus_Astartes 22
Did nobody get this joke? People are getting dumber every day.
Lalala579121 28
OP may have balls of steel. I don't think anyone really cares about 16's balls.
graceinsheepwear 34
You're packing heat.
buckstop1 37
MISREAD THE FML. IGNORE THIS
Jryan952015 7
That's what happens when you stuff your underwear to make it look bigger for a girl
starlandmarie 22
I know it's bulky, but I consider it carry on.
anythingrandom 23
weapons of mass production are not allowed on the plane, sir.
anythingrandom 23
Heat seeking missiles are prohibited on the plane.
vikky538 29
Loaded guns are not allowed in plane sir!
Tarlachia 33
Serves you right for taking iron supplements!
Talonshere 14
Your balls of steel was defect d by the scanner.
Talonshere 14
detected*