Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML
Today, right now, I can say one thing for certain: Despite not knowing exactly what it means to be conventionally attractive, I still know for a fact I'm the exact opposite of that. People have told me that I look homeless. I shudder to think of how I'd look if I were actually homeless. FML
Today, I realized that the homeless people I give change to all dress better than I do, including the one that doesn't believe in pants. FML
Today, I was going out with my supermodel-gorgeous friend, so I put extra effort into looking good. I thought I looked pretty good, but when we got to the subway station, a drunk old man looked at us and loudly announced, "That's always the way it is, there's a fit one and an ugly one." FML
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML
Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML
Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML
Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML
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Top comments
UnderstoodCat 0
Wow, hobos aren't there to make you look better. You're such a hypocrite for even trying to look better by standing next to one, and god's way of giving you what you deserve is probably your insecurity and uglyness.
Sw33tFML 0
um.. dress better?
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Comments (59)
lolfish111111 0
you ugly
DocBastard 40
So let me get this straight...you called out #1 for pointing out the obvious, and then you leave this vapid (and almost-as-obvious) comment immediately afterward? Do I have that right? Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem like a hypocritical asshat. Nathan5 and iLazy - did I use "hypocritical" correctly?
PageantGirlXOXO 16
That's stupid and shallow.
lexi122333 0
agreed
thedevil96 0
take a shower
joseph121 0
why were you standing next to a hobo???
happyhak 5
I gotta say, man...That's pretty shallow. Hobos lives are bad enough without people like you downgrading them like that...And you are complaining because your idiotic plan of standing next to a hobo didn't make you look better? Tut tut tut...
mintcar 10
YDI for " looking like a hobo. " It's really nobody's fault but yours.
perdix 31
You also interfered with his revenue stream. One hobo, by himself, can look pitiful and earn some good sympathy cash. But, two together, look like a part of the Hobo Nation, a highly-feared gang that foments the Bum Revolution.
DocBastard 40
Not as feared as the Raider Nation, which to me looks like GWAR. By the way, excellent use of "foment", Sir Perdix. And anyone who is tempted to say, "What's GWAR?" needs to google it now. Seriously, now.
underpaid011 0
so will Night Train, Wild Irish Rose, Cisco, the legendary Ripple, and all other bum wines - past, present, and future.
nathan5 0
Racist?
mattitucklove01 0
get dressed you stupid jerk didn't your mother teach you anything! stop being so cheap with yourself and spend a little money on yourself !