Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML
Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML
Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
Today, I saw a scorpion crawling across the kitchen floor. While trying to swat it towards the middle of the floor to prevent it from escaping as I looked for something to kill it with, my cat came to investigate. Kitty thought I was playing with a new toy and joined in by batting the scorpion under the oven. I know it's plotting its revenge. FML
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML
Today, a water snake slithered into our pool. He can have it. FML
Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
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Top comments
JustKittyKat 24
Did he survive? And how do you know he was there for hours? I am very curious about this one.
Moep20 24
Why would anyone put a scorpion into a cup of bleach?!?!?
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Comments (112)
lebronesque73091 12
That's one basses scorpion then.
lebronesque73091 12
*badass
gc327072 31
Watch out, we got a basses over here!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Skrillex: basses? Where!? I wanna drop it! Snoop Dogg: Drop it like its hot?
s0m3guy2010 21
The scorpion sounds like a David Blane wannabe... or maybe it's the other way around. The result is the same though. You can't seem to get rid of them.
s0m3guy2010 21
^ Blaine*... just in case the Grammar Nazis come to get me.
smiliecat 13
This made me happy. Thank you.
diaspora_fml 26
The spelling of a name has nothing to do with grammar or Nazis.
Warden1986 16
He was practicing for his role as Aqua Man.
TurtleSmile 14
Why the heck were you throwing a scorpion into your pool?
A7XCamaro 19
He wasn't throwing a scorpion into his pool, he was pulling one out.
TurtleSmile 14
Then how does he know how long it had been there?
Moep20 24
I guess he saw that the scorpion was there but did not immediatly have time to get it out of the pool, or he wanted to make sure that it was really dead and waited some time...
desireev 18
And here I thought Spiderman was the most invincible... Scorpion King FTW!
annie_nk 23
The Rock > Superman anyway ;)
mikeofthunder 13
Batman > every ************ B)
K_kanaka 26
Chuck Norris > every S.O.B. in the universe
oj101 33
WELL IF Yuu had $wag, it wouldnt hav happend, SO YDI for dat reason...
A7XCamaro 19
Is this a joke or are your just a little slow mentally?
A7XCamaro 19
*You. I'm not entirely positive how I managed to that r.
hopsinlove17 26
Was the "$wag" really necessary either?
mikeofthunder 13
Today, I truly know never to mess with a scorpion. Thank you, OP *thumbs up*
Metallica36176 16
Im taking it that you got stung so the first thing I assume? How did you get him out? If it was a skimmer(net) I have no idea how you could've gotten hurt unless you put your face near it. That I understand because I want to check out the creatures too. But it didn't move while you retrieved it?
Metallica36176 16
Its like I feel that 90% FYL but 10% YDI because....it didn't move? And even if it was dead it still has a stinger so proceed with caution? I don't know...I need more details. -.-
afairshake 8
I didn't know that thanks for the heads up lol