Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML
Today, I am a Frenchie who's been in England for two months. While wanting to say to my technician that my manager made me groan during our meeting, I said that he made me moan. Now he keeps looking at me with a grin on his face. FML
Today, I tried to impress a French student by saying “Bonjour!” but instead said “Bordel!” which means “Brothel.” She laughed, and so did every one of the french students around us. My cultural street cred is officially dead. FML
Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML
Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML
Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML
Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML
Today, I spent my first night with my English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice, "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML
Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML
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Top comments
Gwyddhien 0
Don't worry... I'm a native French speaker, and "je suis excité" isn't that bad and can be used with non-sexual things as well
sooper 0
Hahaha, they must think you have some great fun ;D
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Comments (205)
plexico 4
It's like when I was having dinner with my French girlfriend and her parents and when I could not eat anymore, I said "Je suis plein" (I am full). They wondered how their daughter could make her boyfriend pregnant.
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
This.
Flounder 2
You clearly don't understand what it means to have a ****** life. Misusing a word in a situation where it's clear to everyone you're talking to that you're not a native speaker does not **** your life up.
Kervik 0
Oh my God, guys! Lets only accept FMLs about people dying, and make sure all the deaths are caused by utterly gruesome diseases!
bugmenotmofo 34
And you clearly do not understand what this site is about or are a morbid freak. If this site was truly restricted to life ******* events and not humorous misfortune only disturbed people would visit. Maybe you should seek professional help.
andlifesuxagain 0
Just walk around like an arrogant ass like the rest of them and you should be fine. P.S. YDI for being in France, a country, by definition that almost let itself burn down.. I just realized France can't even win a battle against itself.
nerdking21 10
You arrogant moron. There is more to life than have a military strength. And if a country fights it's own people, of course they are going to lose against themselves. And might I remind you that the French had successfully taken over Algeria. Also, we pretty much lost the Philippine War. And another thing, the French are kicking our butts in so many professions that we ought to give them more credit.
Plumppotato 3
yea so how do you not lose in a war against yourself?
sanwi_fml 0
uh.. we lost algeria in 1964... and vietnam before you did but anyway military strength is not the important thing. we just dont get into war with every country we dont like. And be grateful for the help during independance war (just as we are for WW1 & 2). and for the statue of liberty... i'm not sure you deserve it so much... guantanamo, people who don't have money don't have the liberty to have access to healthcare... surely we have a lot of not so good stuff but france is not so bad. Not better or worse than US... just different.
marie_gal98 0
Can you tell me please if the USA has ever win a war, exception made of WW1 and WW2 and with the russian help ?
splinds 0
NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT
sophsoph17 0
you stupid ******* bitch. the USA is the best place in the whole fuckong world and just because you are jealous of how great we have it here doesn't mean u can hate on it. you should be thankful of how awesome it is.
Callyn 47
Meh, I'm sure that your friends and host family got what you meant, knowing that you're not a native speaker. It's a little embarrassing, but not an FML.
danifruit 0
y'a til une autre personne ici qui parle le français ? Puisque je ne vois pas un défaut avec "Je suis excité".. .. they were lying to you, i think..
MeganB_fml 0
Je suis d'accord avec toi... mais je pense que le français parisien a des expressions différents que ceux au Québec. Like, saying "je suis excitée que l'école commence" doesn't mean school gets you off when you say it in Montreal, but it very well might in France!
tims8574 0
Oui, je le parle. It's better to use because it doesn't have the same sexual connotations, at least in Paris.
tims8574 0
Use je suis enthousiaste.
OperationNicole_fml 0
From personal experience, people don't generally snicker when I say "je suis excite" (which tends to happen because my mothertongue is french but much of my schooling was done in english, where excited doesn't have that connotation) unless they are already known to have dirty minds to the point of it being annoying.
xoxENZIIxox 0
Ouais je viens de parler français pendant des années. significations France et le Québec peuvent être différentes. "Je suis Excite» peut signifier deux choses différentes.
Intoxicunt 6
Who's your daddy!? No, seriously, I don't know who the father is....
thememis 0
you have too much time on your hands, and i guess i do too.
Eily_fml 0
I heard far worse than that. "Baiser" is a verb that used to mean "to kiss", but lots of people use it to say "shag" instead (just don't try to understand why, it's a French thing :P). So a friend of mine asked "Puis je vous baiser ?" (may I shag you ?) thinking he was being very polite. Besides I do leave in France and when I say "excité" I often mean exited and people do get it right.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
There's another great one. In English, "I want to introduce you my friend so-and-so" A friend from the US tried to put that in French and said "Je veux vous introduire mon ami so-and-so." Which, if said that way, roughly translates in common french/slang to "I want to take my friend and stick him up you ass." (Head first, one may wonder? XD) Sure, the word "introduction" with the same innocent meaning as as in English exists and people would realize you didn't mean to say anything bad and it was a language issue, but still, it makes for beautiful conversation openings. XD
kukopia 0
Fake Repeat The host family would have corrected you - at least the females would have. No vote for you!!
kukopia 0
LOL The link to the rules errors out!! That implies that THERE ARE NO RULES!!! FML mod FAIL!!
nerdking21 10
what link
PositiveChillout 0
Je suis excité when speaking in France most certainly means being sexually excited. However in Quebec, it can go both ways. If you want to say excited, You`d say Je suis content, heureux, etc