Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, at the Japanese restaurant I work for, we have 95 reservations and three servers. FML
Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML
Today, I found out in addition to the ADHD teenager they scream at, my boyfriend's parents are planning on getting a monkey. I work at an animal shelter, so now I'm obligated to have a long conversation with them about what a crap idea that is. FML
Today, I learned not to get a job as an elephant keeper at the zoo when the water at home is out for a week for renovations. FML
Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML
Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled, "NINJA WAITRESS!" Everyone at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
"They took our jobs!"
velvel 7
I want to be waited on by a monkey!!
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Comments (201)
KurouTenshi 0
Yes, well, luckily for you, Slickboy, you live in Illinois. So long as the monkeys don't decide to move from Japan, I think its safe to say you'll be able to keep your job.
CallMeHush 1
I swear my boss has hired some shaved down monkeys.
KurouTenshi 0
Sometimes, we get bitched at for throwing bouncy balls back'n'forth. I think your co-workers might get bitched at for throwing poo back'n'forth. If they do, they might be monkeys.
purplemnm 9
I have a job a robotic arm can do...let's hope my boss doesn't realize that >.>
ScaryyMary 14
You screw the caps on tubes of toothpaste?!
purplemnm 9
xDD I wish...I place soap in cardboard bockses for shipping
iamchuck 0
The monkeys complain that they have to do a job you could do.
cals 0
HAA! best reply yet.
yungstunna1 0
so easy, a monkey could do it~geico
FYLDeep 26
Yeah but they also design cars that accelerate out of your control in Japan, so don't take personally.
KurouTenshi 0
@28 I just LOL'd like no ones business at that xD Thank you so much.
issia 0
lol me too
zydr8 0
Luckily my job requires speaking on the phone, monkeys might be able to use sign language but they do not have speech capabilities... yet. I am safe for now. I can almost guarantee that the monkeys are not receiving wages. If this is true then soon PETA will probably be all over them for taking advantage of the poor monkeys, forcing them to work for free in a very unnatural environment. I wouldn't want to be waited on by monkeys, the cleanliness issues alone make me a little sick to my stomach at the thought. Then again many humans have some serious cleanliness issues, I'd still prefer humans.
BenLarge1 0
Actually, they are working on a machine that when you push a certain button, it turns it into a pre-recorded voice(for monkeys)
davixen2009 0
nothing wrong with serving tables! I BUT if that useless fact bothers you that much try finding a new job.
viisiionsz 0
so easy, a monkey can do it.
Gerblat 0
So easy, 27 already did it.
ruby84 1
Monkeys can't post an FML that goes through. But you did. Always think positively, at least you have a job!
gszmam 0
Make me a sammich you scum!