Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, at the Japanese restaurant I work for, we have 95 reservations and three servers. FML
Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML
Today, I found out in addition to the ADHD teenager they scream at, my boyfriend's parents are planning on getting a monkey. I work at an animal shelter, so now I'm obligated to have a long conversation with them about what a crap idea that is. FML
Today, I learned not to get a job as an elephant keeper at the zoo when the water at home is out for a week for renovations. FML
Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML
Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled, "NINJA WAITRESS!" Everyone at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
"They took our jobs!"
velvel 7
I want to be waited on by a monkey!!
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Comments (201)
buttshapedfruit 0
monkeys rule da world x.x
danii_s2 0
hahahahaha. that's awesome.
PatsFanDiego 0
thats simply so funny LOL
smartman136 8
thts y im an engineer no monkeys gonna replace meh
Jhonny_C123 0
You got a job just hush and be glad to have it, and be even happier to just do a job so easy that even a monkey con do it...
sshap21712 0
you read about that in Cracked, didn't you?
eddles 0
umm...... sry, but this I mean I don't really care!
xx_Lizzy_xx 3
Haha, i'd like to eat at this place! You'd think that in Japan they would have invented some kind of robot to do that, but no...they train monkeys, perhaps they're easier to tell apart.
melizza 0
monkeys can also be babies. we all do something monkyes can do. and humans are most like monkeys.
zydr8 0
You know normally I don't bother correcting others grammar and spelling. I figure one or more things are true of the poor guy who wrote the post with the horrible grammar and such: 1) English is not their first language, if this is true then it's kind of silly to make fun of them, they are learning and the internet is a great place to learn. 2) They are stupid, uneducated, or both. In this case it's kind of wrong to make fun of them, like parking in a handicapped parking spot or making fun of a mentally handicapped person, it's just wrong. 3) They just don't care. The vast majority of computers have software that will spell check and grammar check for you. If they don't pay attention to the computers built in corrections why would they pay attention to a real person correcting their post? Any of these three I don't bother with because there's no point and you're just wasting your time. I try to lead by example, using correct grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. as much as I can. Everyone messes up some time, I'm not going to criticize anyone else unless I am perfect. Who is really perfect? The only ones I EVER bother with are the ones where I really can't understand the point or idea the poster is trying to get across. Even then I only ask if I care about what they are trying to say. I hate when I'm trying really hard to understand what someone has written but because it is so poorly spelled I can't make out their meaning. Please to help those of us who are just trying to read what you are writing in a comment (without having to sort through the dozens of grammar Nazi posts that will surely follow) TRY to use something resembling decent grammar and spelling. If no one can understand your post then no matter how funny, insightful, or thought provoking your post is, no one will get it and you will not get your point across. That's why we, as a society, have generally accepted rules regarding the use of the English language. So that you can speak AND be understood.