Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, at the Japanese restaurant I work for, we have 95 reservations and three servers. FML
Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML
Today, I found out in addition to the ADHD teenager they scream at, my boyfriend's parents are planning on getting a monkey. I work at an animal shelter, so now I'm obligated to have a long conversation with them about what a crap idea that is. FML
Today, I learned not to get a job as an elephant keeper at the zoo when the water at home is out for a week for renovations. FML
Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML
Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled, "NINJA WAITRESS!" Everyone at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
"They took our jobs!"
velvel 7
I want to be waited on by a monkey!!
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Comments (201)
RKftw 0
does getting fecal matter thrown at someone cost extra or do you do that for free?
mjolene 0
@ ilovedrugs - I love drugs too. and sex. yep, that's about it.
bugmenotmofo 34
OP is a Cracked reader... i think my other comment disappeared... hmmm...
Tabbykat9698 0
I'm a server and I LOVE my job. Its mindless but tons of money. I'm a college dropout and plan on going back, but for the time being I make as much or more as my college grad friends.
chadb1520 0
lol bob and Tom had that on there show
CaptenAwesomeXD 0
dude... that's one KICKASS monkey, or, many kickass monkeys I guess, since there were many of them...aaanyways... that's pretty damn cool :D
kazumaslayer666 3
I saw this on world's dumbest
joangar 0
well what do you expect, youre a waiter.
zachhasse 0
do you know how to spank your monkey
Meathook 0
I see you too read cracked.com.