Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML
Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML
Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying, "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend and bemoaning the fact that my new coworkers keep mixing up my gender. She looked at me critically and said, "Yeah, until you can grow a decent beard, people are going to keep thinking you're an intern or a butch lesbian." FML
Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML
Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, I had to come to terms with having more facial hair than my boyfriend, despite being female since birth. FML
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Top comments
cabbitt 0
Don't whine about it. Fix it.
rpvia 0
your name must be helga
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Comments (135)
KirbyPaint 3
Parallel Lines is a Blondie album.
Fyldumbfuckha 0
my name says it all
crzygrl5861 0
yea hun go to a nail salon n get them both waxed!!!!!! n go shopn for some new trendy clothes n get ur hair done. basically do a makeover!!! wen ur done they will think ur the new gurl n for all about ur "parallel" past :)
RebekahBrooke 9
well it could be worse if your name was bella. cuz then they could call you parallela bella :D
Muwahaha_fml 4
Ydi, totally fixable with a little wax...and you should probably do your chin too.
iSwizzle 4
Wax that shit.
evebright 5
In college, writing "AN unibrow"? Hell in a hand basket is where we are heading....
NOUman1218 1
So fix it? Go to the bathroom, get a razor. Put shaving cream on. Have fun!
luckshotpro 12
And you've never done anything about the unibrow why?
greenorange75 8
Just shave it off. Unless you happen to be some Indian. If you are, then I got something to post here on Fmylife.