Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML
Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML
Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, my coworker showed me photos of her anal fissures. I'm not a doctor. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML
Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML
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Top comments
birds_fml 7
It will if you put the apple up your ass. Then there'll be no room for a qtip.
blaaaaakely 0
just pretend it's Angelina Jolie.
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Comments (144)
scarsnstars45 0
@112; thats a great name for metal song! hahaha
pooheeyore701 0
why would you even do this???
colomexparra 0
snickerdoodles is a smartass. let her defend herself.. i dont see her saying anything..u on the other hand....oh leave snickers alone blah blah. aaahhhaaahhaaa
jemm94 0
actually...ive had countless shots at the doctors and ive never once had anything up my ass...so i have no idea whtat kind of doctor youre seeing id this is normal and frequent for you
joey2198 0
Are you positive he was a doctor?!
magnetic_aura 26
Why? I feel this warrants a follow up. Please?
hegchog12 18
Did he do this for a reason other than his boredom?