Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML
Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML
Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML
Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited, until I saw they were from a friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML
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Top comments
Nykaen 0
Dude... Leave her, she is worthless. And disown your brother... No man should ever do that to family.
crazyval619 6
Dude that sucks.
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Comments (176)
theways 0
sorry :(
kfnighthawk 0
dude, i would murder my brother.
fantasy_ 0
im sorry :'( ur wifes a ***** btw
justanotherhuman 21
Dear OP, Heartfelt/Wry FYL. Similar thing happened to myself with a girlfriend of a year(living together, dual accounts; maybe a few months from proposing) and my best friend since kindergarten(family for all intents and purposes). I really only clearly remember going into the kitchen, getting a bottle of wine & an opener, then going into my office and calling a moving company, then his girlfriend of two years. Then smoking/drinking the rest of the day away watching BBC business news. Next day, all of the above were out of my life and it... really actually sucks. My advice: you'll have just as many questions regarding your 'guilt' in this as they'll both have justifications for it 'just' happening. Dispel all and move on asap; there's no time for this nonsense! Simply put, with people- you just never know.
elmangy 0
lmao. when i first read this, i read it as she was busy having sex with her brother. i was like WOW. INCEST. but still, fyl nonetheless. have sex with her sister?
shad0wpuppetz 0
Harsh, man. I'm so sorry.
saa994 0
It takes two people to make this type of mistake. They are both family and neither of them should have betrayed him. And how do you know who flirted with who? You don't know these people. You don't know what happened between his wife and brother. Let's just leave it at this: it's both the wife and brother's fault. OP has married the wrong person, and is stuck with a sad excuse for a brother.
Chyeah07 0
aww thats so sad, defo dump the ***** and shame your brother.
evangldbrg 0
In the words of Bill Engvall: I believe that guns don't kill people...husbands that come home early do
OhSoInsane 0
Welcome to the reality man. Guys like us who are nice, romantic and even spontaneous at times are the ones that get screwed over by chicks. Even though the entire media tries to **** us over by showing how women always want these qualities in men, its all a bullshit propaganda. They need men like us as "fallback" resorts but want to **** around with other assholes out there. Its the truth. Very less women actually want what we men believe they want. To hell with your wife, shes probably gonna cheat on the next person shes with anyways. You should never forgive your brother for this either, what kind of a brother is he? Asswipe. Go out and seek girls that deserve you, they ARE out there.
fucklifeee 0
You make all women seem so horrible. I like good guys:(
tsundere 1
Like #136 said, not all girls are like that. Some of us actually like nice guys and enjoy being with them just fine. Not all girls are manipulators. Maybe you're just a bad judge of character when you become infatuated with someone. Girl manipulators are sometimes more obvious than guy manipulators (to those around them), and usually your friends will be able to tell if you're being used like that. Either way, FYL OP. I hope things work out for you (whatever you decide to do).