Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML
Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML
Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML
Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited, until I saw they were from a friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML
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Top comments
Nykaen 0
Dude... Leave her, she is worthless. And disown your brother... No man should ever do that to family.
crazyval619 6
Dude that sucks.
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Comments (176)
chr1is 0
well of course she wouldn't appreciate it that is pretty crap though
fucklifeee 0
I'm pretty sure your brother wins the SHITTIEST BROTHER ALIVE AWARD. Wow, that's just terrible. Shit brother, shit wife. FYL.
panikashadows 0
Aww your sweet, your wife and brother...not so much. I believe it is time for a little thing we call divorce and being pissed at your brother, don't you?
Arabian_Dude 0
bros before hoes MY ASS !!! am sorry dude for what happend your bro is a backstabber and your wife is a total BITCH !! divorce that that bitch kick her on the streets and your bro tell your whole family members who he really is a dog and a backstabber ,, and dont kill your brother nor your wife just throw them away from you life and i hope you get thru this messed up situation and start new life cheers !!
nirvan5a 1
go and **** ur brothers wife.
kewl92 0
oh my god. sorry man, that sucks so bad ://
warhorse57 0
That does suck. Did you bang her hard after?
Truffle_Shuffle 0
FYL
Clark3 0
Ouch, fyl. Fyl indeed.
theanonimouse 0
Well, let's turn to the good Lord for an answer to this situation: And LO, the LORD hath said: "And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death." Either that or they're childless. I'm not sure which one. ("And if a man shall take his brother's wife, it is an unclean thing: he hath uncovered his brother's nakedness; they shall be childless.")