Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I decided to spice up my lunch by adding hot sauce to my sandwich. Little did I know, the hot sauce bottle had a faulty cap, and as I squeezed it, the entire contents shot directly into my eye. Now, not only is my lunch ruined, but I also look like I just auditioned for a role in a tear-jerker movie. FML
Today, I don't know which is worse: my brother cramming all his sauce bottles into a fridge door shelf that exploded onto the floor when I opened the fridge, or my mother being mad at me because I was upset about slicing open my finger while cleaning up the broken glass and my hand now burns. FML
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML
Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML
Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML
Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
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Top comments
stormin972 0
Always put the hot sauce on the door. Lesson learned.
lovestrong 0
HAHAHAHA; Fuccck your life clumsy :)
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Comments (145)
LeighMoreno 0
Take the stuff out, reach for what you want, put stuff back in. Easy. :P
arc794 0
YDI for putting your hot sauce in the fridge.
twinny_sc 13
Seems like that would be the obvious thing to do #1, but OP apparently likes to avoid the obvious.
the_flirtt 0
4 hot sauce is amazing !!!
epr 0
That's hot.
the_flirtt 0
how is dat hot ?
epr 0
Pun intended.
pingpongpenguin 3
hot sauce is gross
twinny_sc 13
Ah yes 22, I knew I wasn't the only one who thought that phrase was irrelevant! :)
the_flirtt 0
wow haha I'm dumb :(
eihtballplaya_fml 4
When I was 18 I was eating some hot wings with my girlfriend and starting making out. Well to put a long story short I fingered her and burned "The ****" out of the coochie. Yea Yea iDY
priscilla_28 5
mmm... I love hot sauce!
twinny_sc 13
28 thanks for that story it made me laugh Hahaha!
the_flirtt 0
haha 28 I'm gona try that :p
racerapj 10
There is a life lesson I this, read newtons 3rd law of motion :)
Sharpie23 7
that's pretty original but I think this is fake because if you are taking things out if the fridge you have both feet on the ground then when you accidentally knock the bottle out and break it, who would lift their foot up and step on it? I mean really!?!? cool story tho if it's true and would hurt pretty bad
956TXking 0
lmao at 28
Freeze_fml 17
It's not that complicated, #35.
twinny_sc 13
flirt why would you try that? lol I mean it would be pretty funny for you but the girl might bitch all night about her burning ******.
the_flirtt 0
well maybe shell like the torture :p
Sharpie23 7
ugh I really want to know why comments get moderated. there was no vulgar language in my previous point, just trying to stretch some imagination.
twinny_sc 13
Eh maybe she will or maybe we will see a FML: Today, a guy I was fooling around with fingered me after eating hot wings. It burned my ****** like hell and he laughed. FML.
Rawr_Doodle 0
I cringed
the_flirtt 0
haha ya that would be me ;)
twinny_sc 13
44 it's because you said the FML was fake, that's a big no-no :D
Intoxicunt 6
#44: Oh man! What a tough question. This is serious. I've been racking my brain. You know, I really can't come up with a reason. Other than that you broke one of the rules clearly listed in the site rules, but you know, that CAN'T be it!
Chrisskiies 0
^ Lol :)
pingpongpenguin 3
raleigh did you get banned, like me? :)
LeighMoreno 0
Aha, of course not Pingpong. :] What did you do..? :o
Sharpie23 7
thanks 49 and 50- I only look at FML's on my iPod (using the app) where the rules are not posted like they are on the site. Nice creative response tho :)
JohnnyHobo 0
Hahah, I can just imagine that happening to someone. Would be funny as hell. :P
Arsonnist 3
Looks like that hot sauce showed you.
eihtballplaya_fml 4
Oh yea I just added my hot wing ex girl on facebook. And I'm taking her to wingstop if she accepts.
LeighMoreno 0
Bianca, don't call me a number. :|
LeighMoreno 0
:| Captain..
pingpongpenguin 3
I don't know! maybe I should check my email. probably for having conversations on here.
LeighMoreno 0
Whatever, tiny one. :] Pingpong, check your messages.
Xirre 0
You try that and you'll won't be laid anytime soon.
pingpongpenguin 3
captain, you're jealous.
EvilCupcake8361 9
I LOVE hot sauce!:)
sexybeastwon 0
try it in the but
the_flirtt 0
yes the hot sauce !! :p
the_flirtt 0
are serious it's like heavin in a bottle !!!
selenagirl_fml 0
ouch... how sad... so sad...
the_flirtt 0
ey it's ops fault for bein dumb
doorfloor 0
I put that sh*t on everything, and apparently, so does the OP
NavyBound 0
my feelings exactlyyy #4.
ninjacapo 2
o boytht musta felt good. "and while ur at it why dont u give me a papercut and poor lemon juice in it"
epicenur 2
boohoo I had a half galon glass break and shatter on my toes then my reaction was to pick up my foot and prance around so I stepped on the glass.
ilynunezz 0
LOL!
julien672 0
the majority of people put their hot sauce in the fridge genious .-.
Bloodberry 0
"'tis but a flesh wound"
Lmao1997 0
33 that is really smart
moi101 0
ouch!!!
lovestrong 0
HAHAHAHA; Fuccck your life clumsy :)
WingsFan80 4
I gotta tell you the same thing I tell everyone that takes pics of themselves in the mirror. it's a nice pic..... but..., if you look at the mirror right before you take the pic, we would see your eyes :).
stormin972 0
Always put the hot sauce on the door. Lesson learned.
ilpissoffahappym 0
agreed
kfrizzle2 4
Lol sorta like a lemon in the eye? It hurts, do not do it.
hsshae 0
that sounds yummy, if you have a foot fetish....
te_amo_ily 0
YDI
Save_Bandit 5
I agree. P.S. You're purty. :-)
DigitalFusion 4
Duck face!
missabbey 3
How???? Really? He deserves it because... Your a hater?
Silkie 0
You just got burned. Had you then accidentally slid your foot across a rug, that's another burn. And then if someone said something sassy to you, that's a triple burn! <3 Demetri Martin FTW
Silkie 0
=O
booored 0
#11 Your extremely cute(:
rainbowhobos 4
That's probably because #11's picture is off the Internet. :]
Freeze_fml 17
His extremely cute what?
booored 0
are you serious? people like that are annoying. thanks for the heads up.
shrimper123 0
135, not only is your comment stupid, but you were the first person to reply. Next time, shut the **** up the first time.
xangelaa 0
oww. omg that makes me cringe :/
nbjohnson 0
public bathroom FTL? really?
Silkie 0
Public Bathrooms are icky -_-
abalgatti 0
by the powers of naughtyness i declare this particular drop of hot sauce to be really really hot. muahahahaha
Silkie 0
Yeah Spongebob! Now where's my applejuice? :3
pingpongpenguin 3
spongebob. niiiice
the_flirtt 0
Patrick ftw !!
pingpongpenguin 3
invisible boatmobile, ftw?