Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were at a restaurant with a few other couples, and my boyfriend started to rant on how "all the hot chicks are dumb." Apparently, I'm either ugly or stupid. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'd be going on a trip to Europe. I assured him that I would never cheat on him with any European guys. He replied with, "Why would I be worried? You're not very pretty." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years cheated on me. His reason? "You were flirting with me for a whole year before us when you had a whole boyfriend at the time. How do I know you aren't a cheater?" His further reasoning was that at least if I cheated on him, he'd have a reason to stay with me. FML
Today, after suspecting that my boyfriend was cheating while I was out of town, I came across an Instagram picture of him with another girl. I found out that he told her he was single. When I confronted him in a comment, the girl’s friend replied, "He clearly likes her more than you." FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend because I suspected he had been cheating. His reply? "Took you long enough to figure it out." FML
Today, I looked at my boyfriend of four years's phone. He may not be cheating, but he was trying, and got shot down five times by three different women. Pathetic. FML
Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared me to an unattractive actress. When I said it was sort of messed up to say that to me since she's not pretty, he said, "She's not as bad as you." FML
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Top comments
Doribella98 14
Hey OP, at least he thinks you're the most beautiful of all those girls in town :)
Welshite 40
At least he's loyal and honest; very good qualities in a partner.
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Comments (137)
Neligee 9
Dumb his ass !!!
GlitterValentina 12
How do you even get dumb? The B is nowhere near the P key.
howdeedoo 22
That isn't even a very good reason to dump someone...he's faithful and honest. Isn't that what women want?
poccocurantes 7
Maybe he doesn't have a sarcasm font either. So OP took him at face value. His answer doesn't sound honest or faithful.
godfathermock 19
Or the other way around. OP doesn't know when people are being sarcastic with her.
perdix 31
That's not a good question to ask in jest. Your poor sense of humor cost you one of the few guys who could tolerate your ****-ugliness.
micahdunk 13
What a lovely boyfriend you have there.
toalysium 15
"Jokingly asked." So he gave you a smartass reply to a dumbass question. YDI
miura_fml 17
Jokingly? Let me jokingly press the YDI button.
poccocurantes 7
Actually I just made the same mistake. Read OP's name.
FMLkaiiden 8
Uhm are you all stupid? OP included? You said clearly in the post "I jokingly asked" you give a joking question, u get a joking answer. Don't pose a joke to your boyfriend and punish him for joking in return. And besides, even if he wasn't kidding, u said u were. Which was apparently a lie, what you should have said was "today I tried to ask my boyfriend if he was cheating on me by pretending I was kidding. It worked! Now I'm miserable. Fml."
PincessBoff 6
Your comment made my night. Thank you.
greatdanen 6
thank god someone wrote this, and good rephrasing too.
mowmowlife 21
She jokingly asked, meaning that she should have gotten an answer only within the realm of humor. This FML is about him not observing the joke and saying something rude by way of indicating he didn't really care about her, which is also a dealbreaker. Her username indicates he meant it seriously and it didn't go over well. It would have been a flop on her part if she got a joking 'yes' and proceeded to break up with him
kaoszombie 6
Perhaps he was joking as well...
opoopu 8
Doesn't hurt to check once in a while, and there are people who are actually guilty and break down and admit the truth, thinking they have been caught.
greatdanen 6
doesn't hurt to check? it's not a problem to insinuate that your partner is unfaithful and lying? you need to put in sarcasm tags...
opoopu 8
Maybe there was a reason that she was asking, and she only said it jokingly to lighten the mood.
lambda_fml 40
So basicaly he is calling you the preitiest girl in the town. Yeah I can see whats the problem.
vbmg152 19
When you ask questions like that, you always get an answer that you didn't want to hear!