Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML
Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML
Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML
Today, my dog pooped on the floor, and the Roomba my sweet boyfriend bought me as a housewarming gift, ran over it. FML
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Top comments
annie_nk 23
"I said sit, not shit!"
caden_bro 9
Your BF seems a little emotional. And ridiculous. Just try to talk some sense into him.
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Comments (56)
purrypie 9
I would actually say "yes, I did train my dog who I bought days ago to shit on you" and see if he still thinks it's a bit ridiculous
Cuteroxx 17
I know the feeling!! :-
worldclassrager 41
I don't think your dog is house broken yet...and I think with the word new puppy shouldn't have caused a huge problem...
drshn 22
What a shitty thought.
tjv3 10
Maybe your bf is a douchebag and your puppy senses it and is trying to warn you?
ItsATwinThing 9
If the puppy repeats the action then the energy of your boyfriend might be scaring the puppy. But more than likely it was just a one off incident, good luck with your new puppy! They're so lovely when they're little but so much better when they're older. :D
AmorVitae93 6
Whay am idiot
Pinkgal123 24
At least she's got a puppy!
FireFang1331 13
As the saying goes, if your dog doesn't like someone, you probably shouldn't either ;) lol I'm sure things will smooth over! If not, maybe it's time for a new boyfriend that knows and understands dogs a bit more! Maybe your dogs first reaction won't be to cover him in poop
bigpops 12
he is an idiot and you're better off without him,