Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML
Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML
Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML
Today, my dog pooped on the floor, and the Roomba my sweet boyfriend bought me as a housewarming gift, ran over it. FML
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Top comments
annie_nk 23
"I said sit, not shit!"
caden_bro 9
Your BF seems a little emotional. And ridiculous. Just try to talk some sense into him.
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Comments (56)
JMichael 26
Apparently your boyfriend has never raised a dog before. Have you tried explaining to him that accidents happen?
Ambient25 25
I wish I could train my dog to shit on command...
frankiero 17
Sorry, OP. Your boyfriend sounds kinda shitty.
TCRII 30
Dogs, even puppies, are very intuitive about the people they meet. Pay attention to how other animals act around your boyfriend.
awilliams44 9
Can u train a dog to do that.? XD I wish
Cassowary_lover 14
He was just upset because he wanted some pussy on his lap instead.
skyeyez9 25
Maybe I am reaching too far with my assumption, but I wouldn't trust him alone with your puppy. If he is daft enough to think the dog was trained to shit on command, he may try to hurt your pup out of spite when you aren't looking. Your puppy will love you 100% till his dying breath. Protect your little four legged buddy.
EvilLittleMan 23
Common sense is something OP's boyfriend is obviously lacking. Simply said, he's a moron.
Kateyez_26 13
Tell him shit happens and that it was an accident. Now if he gets shit on every time he sits on his lap then maybe it's the dogs way of saying to get a new boyfriend
AngryD 9
your puppy is doing you a favor and helping you get rid of that idiot