Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML
Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML
Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML
Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
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Top comments
dezman2000 21
It used to be "My dog ate my homework" not "Your dog peed on the floor" What has our world come to
AyeJay101 25
I don't even know what to say... I guess new requirement in a partner is if they're potty trained?
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Comments (88)
LordVaper 14
Bitch marked the territory
worldclassrager 41
You should have let her go first...
TMO2142 25
Need a girlfriend? Well your in luck. Today we are releasing the pee on the rub model! The joys having a girlfriend and a dog come true! 99.99 + shipping and handling clean up spray not included.
9a_1z 12
You clearly interpreted her wrong - she saw the ghost of your dog in the bathroom and pissed herself out of fear.
vikky538 29
You did not offer her to use your toilet. You pay the price.
BamBAmGG 14
I'm not sute if she's actually that gross to pee on your carpet and ignorant to blame it on a dog she only sees in a photo that clearly wasn't there physically or even in the vicinity. Or if she was looking for a way to purposely gross you out to get out of hanging out with you? haha I don't know, i don't understand her logic but im sorry for your loss OP!
bobslawnservice 16
First rule of drunken one night stands : Never go back to your place.
soulreaper12296 28
Time to never talk to her again.
rainbowsRlove 15
sorry for your loss losing a pet sucks. I really hope you pointed the fact out your dog is gone I would've loved to see her face! but oh well whatcha gonna do piss happens! hope she at least cleaned up after herself.
Colon_Man 17
Ghost dogs. I tell ya. Almost worse than drop bears.