Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, I hit a parked car and did some damage, so I left a note. My dad called me a moron and, to teach me a life lesson, made me drive back to the car in case the owner hadn’t seen it yet, and remove the note. He actually threatened to smash my PlayStation if I came back without the note. FML
Today, I went to my car to discover a note on the windshield from the city telling me that they had hit my car. On top of that note was a parking ticket, also from the city. FML
Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML
Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML
Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML
Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
If you hit a parked car, it's your goddamned fault. I hope the owners take your bank statement, hack into your account, and use your own money to pay for the damage you caused.
Dramori 29
I pity your stupidity.
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Comments (143)
MetallicA7X86 0
Do your breaks work? Maybe if you were paying attention you wouldn't have hit him!
zakkyzebra 11
brakes* just sayin'. I'm not trying to be a grammatical asshole.
fthku 13
I'm gonna sound like a sexist asshole for saying this. On the other hand I don't really care. I'm gonna say with 90% certainty that you're a woman. Regardless of that however, you are probably the biggest dumbass ************ (Is this grammatically correct?) who ever wrote an FML. At least from the ones I read so far. You really should pray that either 1.) It's someone you know. 2.) They are the nicest person in the planet. Oh and.. yeah if you hit a parked car it's your fault, whether or not they parked it like assholes.
CloudKumo 12
...it's pretty clear that she's a woman. There's an icon on the FML that shows their gender.
ohJeeznotme 7
YDI for trying to break the law with a hit and run scumbag! If you were paying attention to where you were driving then you could have avoided the car. Cut up your license.
franwins0827 7
YDI for being stupid enough to not look at what you were writing on. Also, slow the **** down. My guess is you were in a residential area or a parking lot, which means you should have had enough time to brake and avoid hitting the car IF you were going the appropriate speed. You're the asshole, and I hope you get sued.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I'm gonna hazard a guess and say this anonymous person was a women, probably 5"2 and of caucasian appearance
InnocentLies 0
xD That's funny my brother hit a parked car as well. He tried to blame me. -_-
Doortje 30
#43: I'm gonna hazard a guess and say you'll get moderated.
DanielleSaysHell 0
and that he did.
jwa2000 3
Since the driver did leave a note with his/her name and address it is not a hit and run. YDI for hitting a parked car.
TheDrifter 24
If they would have written it on an insurance statement they would even have left all the required information.
underyourbreath 8
True, but the intention was to not leave any information and that is a hit and run. OP is whining because he left an easy way to get caught.
El_patron 0
A women who can't turn a car....,
StonesAya 0
I am stunned! A "parked" car is "practically unavoidable"? LMAO! What, it jumped out in front of you and ran you down? YDI! NO LICENSE FOR YOU!
Rick_S 3
I hope you get turned into the police and get prosecuted.