Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, I hit a parked car and did some damage, so I left a note. My dad called me a moron and, to teach me a life lesson, made me drive back to the car in case the owner hadn’t seen it yet, and remove the note. He actually threatened to smash my PlayStation if I came back without the note. FML
Today, I went to my car to discover a note on the windshield from the city telling me that they had hit my car. On top of that note was a parking ticket, also from the city. FML
Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML
Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML
Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML
Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
If you hit a parked car, it's your goddamned fault. I hope the owners take your bank statement, hack into your account, and use your own money to pay for the damage you caused.
Dramori 29
I pity your stupidity.
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Comments (143)
jlynntiger 0
ur the ass hole u deserve it
joolz_au 2
and on this weeks episode of worlds dumbest criminals........
Shinygirlnz 1
Unavoidable? Um... really? God, what a moron. You totally deserve everything you have coming to you. I'm not even surprised you jumped right on FML to try and get some sympathy. Self-absorbed jerk.
StrangerDangerr 0
how does going to Canada sound?
MsEmmy 0
See this is when impulsivity bites you in the ass. Maybe next time you will think before you criticize and blame someone for your stupid mistake. Learn how to drive and maybe this wouldn't have happened.
CallMeBloo 31
I agree. You were a jerk. Man up.
sandabelle25 0
you hit my car...im gonna drive to ur house,smash into ur car and leave u a note that says now we're even but i madam/sir will not be dumb enough to leave u MY address
forrealman 0
you, my friend, are a dumbshit. that is all.
hennessy89 34
You're the asshole who wasn't going to leave your name after hitting a car. Think of how YOU would feel. And don't expect people to feel bad for you when you didn't do the responsile thing...but karma got it for ya.
persimmon 0
ydi, but that's really funny :)
SuperMaria 0
And when you find a note in your kitchen after a lengthy hospital stay that says, "you deserved to get stabbed, you live like a dickface." no one will pity you.