Today, I held a door open for my boyfriend and jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" He responded with, "Who's chivalry?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that chivalry truly is dead when a seemingly fit man pushed me into a door to get a seat on the train before me. My leg is in a cast. FML
Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML
Today, I held the door open for someone and he said, "Thank you!" I said, "Thank you!" back. FML
Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML
Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML
Today, my boyfriend opened the car door in a very kind and loving way. What wasn't so kind and loving was that my hand was still half-way when he closed it. FML
Today, I proposed to my boyfriend. He laughed at me and said that proposing is a man's job, not a woman's. FML
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend coming up the walkway to our home. When I opened the door to greet him with a huge smile on my face, he scowled at me and angrily said, "I don't know why you have to do that!" Smile gone. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I just can't help but feed this through my Idiot-English Translation Engine: "Haha! That's actually pretty funny! If he doesn't know what chivalry is then it really MUST be dead! Haha! **** your life for having a dumb boyfriend! I failed third grade, but thank god the Internet doesn't discriminate based on age, race, and IQ!" Much better.
Bathory_fml 0
If we hold the door open for you, we're being misogynist because we apparently think you can't open the door yourself. If we let you open the door yourself, we're not being chivalrous enough for you. :| I'm so happy I'm gay.
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Comments (269)
ambowew 7
Well he obviously isn't a Gryffindor!
nerdsgetmehot 23
He's obviously not a Ravenclaw, either. It sounds like he doesn't have much in the way of wit...
Dbolli 0
Congrats your dating an idiot.
ambowew 7
Oh, the irony!
heyimjennyFML 5
soo who is he?
Egnar 19
I wonder - Considering the circumstance of you joking about chivalry being dead if he was also joking [with a very dry sense of humor] about who chivalry was. . .I could see myself doing something like that if such a situation arose.
mrbuddy 0
Chivalry is dead. And women killed it.
Sleeper1288 0
Thanks to the person who posted the definition. Basically, it's readiness to "help the weak" or disadvantaged. IMO, real relationships are always on equal terms. If one is inferior to and totally dependent on the other, that's a hierarchy, not a relationship. I'm not saying the two can't have different strengths and help each other out, but the whole traditional man-woman thing was basically the idea that the man is superior, that the woman is taken care of by him and that she obeys him. So if chivalry dies to get rid of that, I'm stoked. Of course, that has nothing to do with simple politeness. Holding the door for someone coming behind you is just common courtesy.
Saritasmiles 0
I understand what you mean. I think (and please correct me if I'm wrong anyone) that women want to be appreciated, I know men want to be appreciated too and of course good women go out of their way to do so. But I think that women are the ones who fantasize more about a guy who brings them flowers and does little things like that while guys picture their girl cheering them on at a sporting event. So when I hear a woman say chivalry is dead I think they simply feel unappreciated. I think we all have different forms of showing appreciation in our relationships.
Sleeper1288 0
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McGherkin 0
Chivalry IS dead. And I'll miss it.
Lady_Blaze 7
Chivalry may be dead, but basic manners aren't :D
bigantennaemay 3
Hah! That's quick wit or cluelessness, but either way, it's hilarious!!!!