Today, I held a door open for my boyfriend and jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" He responded with, "Who's chivalry?" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I learned that chivalry truly is dead when a seemingly fit man pushed me into a door to get a seat on the train before me. My leg is in a cast. FML
Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML
Today, I held the door open for someone and he said, "Thank you!" I said, "Thank you!" back. FML
Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML
Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML
Today, my boyfriend opened the car door in a very kind and loving way. What wasn't so kind and loving was that my hand was still half-way when he closed it. FML
Today, I proposed to my boyfriend. He laughed at me and said that proposing is a man's job, not a woman's. FML
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend coming up the walkway to our home. When I opened the door to greet him with a huge smile on my face, he scowled at me and angrily said, "I don't know why you have to do that!" Smile gone. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I just can't help but feed this through my Idiot-English Translation Engine: "Haha! That's actually pretty funny! If he doesn't know what chivalry is then it really MUST be dead! Haha! **** your life for having a dumb boyfriend! I failed third grade, but thank god the Internet doesn't discriminate based on age, race, and IQ!" Much better.
Bathory_fml 0
If we hold the door open for you, we're being misogynist because we apparently think you can't open the door yourself. If we let you open the door yourself, we're not being chivalrous enough for you. :| I'm so happy I'm gay.
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Comments (269)
thatsmeh 0
who is chivalry?
ydur 0
how's is this an fml? seems more like a dumb snippet in a conversation between young people.
sum1two 0
Yeah, who's chivalry?
RedPillSucks 33
Chivalry is the warm fuzzy feeling you get when you do random acts of kindness for a complete stranger, or a friend, not because you owe them anything or expect something in return, but because it was the right and kind thing to do. Replace "Random Acts of Violence" with "Random Acts of Kindness" and be the change you seek in the world.
bigantennaemay 3
oh, shut up.
whitesox365 0
little known fact here, chivalry dates back to the middle ages. it was almostlike "battlefield manners". for example, one english king's horse was injured and the opposing side of the battle lent him a good horse. didnt last too long though....
chadcat 1
Sesshomaru. <3
ScipioAfricanus 0
Little known? I'm pretty sure I learned that in maybe the 5th grade. (To above commenter whose username I cannot recall)
ceddyz17 10
maybe he was being a smartass?
CocoTheTruth 5
chivalry should've never existed. idiots.
Loketiazo 0
I would've said the same thing! Fortunately I tend to hold the doors for any female.
nerdsgetmehot 23
It sounds like you need a guy who can match wits with you.
SirEBC 7
Sounds like you need a guy who likes small boobs. Okay, okay, I'm sorry. You made it too easy. ILY Nerds. <3 <3
ceddyz17 10
I like small boobs ;)
nerdsgetmehot 23
#95 :( I don't love you. I'm going to go hide in my cave of shame now. I have a man who loves my small boobs. :P
GallifreyDog 2
Your life is ****** because your boyfriend didn't know what chivalry was? Bitch.
docscientist 10
Yes, posting an fml means your life is irreversibly ******, forever.
tbonea1990 0
don't trip I bet if u use it to most people they wont be able to tell u as well