Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
They play with balls more than you do, apparently.
maskedman 9
I guess now you have to take women's tennis away from, which leads to him teeing off to women's golf, which eventually leads to him polishing his pin to "women's" bowling. The masculine women of women's bowling makes an easy transition into homosexuality which leads to a divorce. Let your husband watch normal **** so that we can put a stop to this.
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Comments (209)
timesnipe 7
Maybe you should have been helping him out instead
Fylminesawsome 5
Well u can't give him shit, he was just following orders.
jdortega 2
You're a terrible person. I can assure you he didnt want marriage, or a big house, or multiple cars, or a job he doesn't like. He just wants sex, and he loves you enough to do all that stuff for you, to get sex from you. But, like so many women, you won't meet him 1/4 way there. All about you
impress69 6
he was definitely lying
TehProRussian 4
Like a Sir.
blackpolar22 0
Im a chick and i used to get in trouble for the idea of masturbating. My ex believed it was cheating....
snapdragon1100 7
What's the big deal if he watches ****? Clearly you don't do the job well enough so you should have to suffer the consequences.
snapdragon1100 7
What's the big deal if he watches ****? Clearly you don't do the job well enough so you should have to suffer the consequences.
cece_miless 8
This is your fault. If he's masturbating to tennis, you need to step up.
Tre_morris118 0
"ITS JUST THE WAY THEY HITS THISE BALLS BRO AND THE FRUNT GETS MU JUICES FLOWING