Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML
Today, my downstairs neighbor died. I knew because the smell wafted up to my apartment. FML
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML
Today, I heard that my crush’s dog had died. For some reason, my first instinct when I saw him was to say, “Oh my god, I heard that your dog died!” He started crying. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
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Top comments
ctlnaaia71 8
you r a f*cking asshole.
Frickmetinajenks 0
I hope people say that abput you when YOU die. That's a shitty thing to say. YDI.
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Comments (177)
ctlnaaia71 8
you r a f*cking asshole.
roxigirl4235 3
agreed
jujustarr 0
yep:)
seanders 10
lol ones less miserable bastard in the world. I'd be glad too!:). unfortunately his wife prolly wants you dead lol.
xBangOut 4
you have no soul.
ilovejorgerabara 3
Wow YDI !!! no matter how much of an asshole the person is, as long as they aren't like a murderer or rapists or something you shouldn't be glad that he died you asshole.
TiNyBuBbLeZ 0
you must forgive thy enemies
Overseer211 1
You shouldn't go to sleep tonight.
25shark 5
I thought we'd established the neighbor was the f*cking asshole?
rdkorud13 0
you might want to lock the doors and windows js ha
KelseyLovesYouu 2
Deep into your soul? 0.o
nathan5 0
That's pretty deep...
DahkLohd 4
That's what she said!
LiznessMonster 9
How can she stare into something he doesn't have?
DahkLohd 4
^ Where does it say OP is a ginger?
nathan5 0
She got SOUL power!!
WishResign 0
The Dahk Lohd's on fiyah today! 27 cute, but no
marcelj121 10
ahahahaha :p
LiznessMonster 9
Usually I don't find jokes like that funny, but you totally got me on this one #25, well played.
Tuesdays76 0
look who is talking 25, you ripped your soul into 7 prices and hid them.
RKftw 0
so? if your neighbor was such an asshole why don't you have the balls to tell his mourning wife?
Seanie 0
exactly
Frickmetinajenks 0
I hope people say that abput you when YOU die. That's a shitty thing to say. YDI.
juliaaalove 8
agreed:) no matter how mean or annoying, you should never wish death upon someone!
TheJimAubrey 0
Maybe YOU don't want to wish death upon someone, #109, but to be completely honest, if i'm wishing death upon someone that is a very light verdict. Wishing for someone's skin to be cut off and leaving them out in the middle of a snowy field, is more what people deserve in this day and age. Death wouldn't be so bad, cause you're completely unaware that you're dead if you die. You rot in a hole, end of discussion. I'm not sure that OP deserves it, nobody deserves uncanny timing.
Tuesdays76 0
You have put a frightening lot of thought into that.
grandpaearthling 2
was he your dad? is she your mom? right now she's wondering when her asshole neighbor is going to die
bubblej614 0
lol
122333 0
hahahaha
foxriderlvr 0
What a ******* douche!!
Utexas913 3
Not gonna lie...I thought this was kinda funny.
MrBoredGuy 1
a lot of us did, don't sweat it
lolol_BKYCHO 3
Well, I think it's safe to say you deserved it. Oh, and why did the comments get disabled on that church fml?