Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML
Today, my downstairs neighbor died. I knew because the smell wafted up to my apartment. FML
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML
Today, I heard that my crush’s dog had died. For some reason, my first instinct when I saw him was to say, “Oh my god, I heard that your dog died!” He started crying. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
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Top comments
ctlnaaia71 8
you r a f*cking asshole.
Frickmetinajenks 0
I hope people say that abput you when YOU die. That's a shitty thing to say. YDI.
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Comments (177)
Phustercluck 11
I would have stood by my convictions. If the neighbor really was an asshole then **** 'im. I'm sure many of you would have said the same thing, but in the privacy of your head.
Doortje 30
I hope her asshole neighbour dies of a stroke. Preferably tomorrow.
CreateZ 0
Preferably this second.
seanders 10
I hope you both die of something more painful than a stroke
seafea 0
i hope both of you eat at taco bell and existence mildy uncomfortable gas
PrettyKookieToo 8
Nice going. Reply to an a**hole making death threats, by making death threats... See this is the kind of hypocrisy, that demonizes bullies to be as bad as rapists and murderers.
goodgood_fml 5
How come you couldnt do your 'Ding Dong the witch is dead' dance in the privacy of your own home? Since you chose to do it outside, you really shouldn't care what anyone thinks!
CallMeBloo 31
Yeah, really. Douche or not, give the mourners some peace. You may have thought he was an asshole- though if you think what you did was appropriate, I seriously doubt your judgement- but he may have been the love of her life. Man up.
CreateZ 0
This is one of those FMLs you really shouldn't post...
barjack_den 0
**** u
youcantalk24 0
why would she be walking the dog right after he died? seems like she would be with friends and family
LiznessMonster 9
Well, walking a dog can sometimes be stress reliever, something to clear her head a little bit. Besides, the dog has to poop, and I'm sure she would rather have her dog do it outside rather than all over her living room, or some other place in her house. And also, one who is mourning may not want to be with friends and family. When my mom died, I knew that all I wanted was to be alone for a little bit and for everyone to get out of my face.
CJHacker 1
I was going to say this as well. Shouldn’t she be grieving instead of just casually walking her dog? And if the dog had to poop, let it out to poop. You don’t have to walk a dog for it to poop. Maybe she thought he was an ahole as well?
DjeePee 25
Are you really discussing her grief because she walked the dog? Seriously?
toxic_fml 0
You don't know that it was right after he died, the neighbour could have been in hospital for a while before he died. When you lose someone sometimes getting back into normal routine is what helps you cope.
docscientist 10
What are you people, 12? Thank whatever you aren't homicide detectives.
Tuesdays76 0
People get very close to dog's. After loosing her husband she may feel like the dog is all she has left. so what's wrong with wanting to take a stress relieving stroll with her dog?
magicstar 0
your a bitch and u know it you ******* deserved it
beritis 0
one's loss is another's win. but dude, you should NEVER EVER say that about a dead person.
guckylynn 19
Are you sure you weren't the asshole neighbor the whole time? It kinda seems like you may be.
Ancarnia 0
Right. Which one is the asshole again? Even if your neighbor was a douche, they still died. Have some respect.
kimee21_fml 15
youre mean