Today, I heard an electric saw cutting through something outside my condo. I presumed it was a complex maintenance guy working on something. It was a thief using an angle grinder to cut off my bicycle's U-lock. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
Today, I rode my newly-purchased bicycle to Lowe's to look at flooring and back splashes for our upcoming remodel. Upon leaving the store, I found out that my bicycle had been stolen by someone who had bought a hacksaw from that store while I was shopping. They left the receipt to mock me. FML
Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML
Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
Today, I lost the key to my bike lock. I ended up having to cut it off, even though it was brand new. After spending 30 minutes hacking away at it, it finally came off. When I hopped onto my bike, I felt something poking my leg. My key was in my pocket the whole time. FML
Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML
Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML
Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
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Top comments
RavensRule97 0
wow thats a lot of effort just to steal a bike
Dudeman277 0
Must have been a really ******* nice bike.
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Comments (63)
ero_hime 0
thats...more than sucking, thats flat out ironic and funny, BUT...it sucks LOL
2short2reach 0
haha! well... if it makes ya feel any better... i heard a hand saw while out having a smoke on my balcony yesterday and i thought someone was trying to steal my neighbors bike and instead i yelled at my super who was trimming the hedges at the side of the building...
jdb2009 0
Did you not go out and beat his ass??? Why not? You deserve that one.
audiogasmic 0
wow, you must've had a REALLY nice bike if he went through all that trouble. seriously, this is why anytime i hear a loud noise outside my house i check it out. another lesson i learned from this site...hahahaha. like the one guy that heard a car alarm going off and ignored it and it turns out someone jacked his car.
pandadolphin 0
I hate thief
quackingfairy 0
Bikes are from Satan. You should thank him for ridding your life of this affront to the Lord.
IAmBridgette 0
#13, It wouldn't be a big deal, just clean the wheels before bringing it inside. Everyone steps in poop at least once in their lifetime so what's the effing difference? Bring your bike inside, clean the wheels. Leave your bike outside, have it stolen. HMM! PRETTY HARD DECISION RIGHT THUR...
Bearsmomma 30
Get a rug or plastic table cloth or something to specifically keep in the floor to park the dirty wheels on.
EMCEE_fml 0
psh... your bike is insured if you had a u-lock. still sucks but at least you can get another bike AND u-lock for free.
joey2slowey 0
was the guy who stole your bike black?
emptyego 0
LOL you must have had an awesome bike!