Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML
Today, I was found out when I was a baby, I was abandoned in a dumpster. FML
Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML
Today, I found a baby in a cradle on my doorstep. I was shocked that someone would do this, so I picked it up and uncovered the baby. It was actually a rudimentary stink bomb that went off in my face when I uncovered it. FML
Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML
Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
You should have looked inside because if there really was a baby I would have went straight in, not wait for the cops.
redbluegreen 41
You should've checked mate, but your heart's in the right place. I think. If it was a real baby, it could've died between the time you heard it and the time the police came in.
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Comments (342)
Aelaena 6
You should have looked inside because if there really was a baby I would have went straight in, not wait for the cops.
epicenur 2
it's a prom night dumpster baby!
TrollHunter 0
haha yhea
super3286 14
family guy :)
Allstarr23 1
So you were concerned enough to follow the noise, but then you find out it's coming from a dumpster and you don't go in after it? You call the cops and wait!? You fail at life
miianah1 22
I wouldn't have jumped in. Have you heard about the death of a man who went in a dumpster which was emptied into a garbage truck. Which killed him since the garbage truck has compressors inside.
XQuartzX 15
Its not like she would just stay in there long enough to get picked up by a dumpster truck
keoct 4
How can you not tell the difference between a plastic doll and a real baby?
uhazsquiads 0
GO SUCK A FREAKING LEMON U SELFISH SEXIST JERK LEARN HOW TO RESPECT GIRLS
jonan1212 5
LOL
Kiki_Venom 0
I've got a one year old daughter and I'm telling you baby dolls look real now they have ones that can cry with tears and everything they move kicking there and legs it's crazy.
thes7274473 19
"Baby Alive, the baby's so real!"
hardcorecaslol 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ur stupid
T1MT1M 0
haha #2 fails and needs a faster connection
MIAMIBITCH_fml 0
LOL fail, #2. Fail, OP, as well. But I have bad eyesight too.
Squidie64 0
......Just wow. Did the cops bust you for a 'false emergency'? Cause that would suck.
SweetestSin 4
While you should have checked to make sure it was real or not first, a plastic doll going off by itself is creepy enough no wonder why it was in the trash.
redbluegreen 41
You should've checked mate, but your heart's in the right place. I think. If it was a real baby, it could've died between the time you heard it and the time the police came in.
Sjolie 0
LOL That would explain the convo I had with 911 the other day: "THERE'S A BABY IN THE DUMPSTER!" "Don't worry ma'am. Is it real?" "WTF THERES A BABY" "I'm hanging up on you now."
katiefershady 0
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE