Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML
Today, I was found out when I was a baby, I was abandoned in a dumpster. FML
Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML
Today, I found a baby in a cradle on my doorstep. I was shocked that someone would do this, so I picked it up and uncovered the baby. It was actually a rudimentary stink bomb that went off in my face when I uncovered it. FML
Today, I saw a shady looking customer carrying a very suspicious looking baby stroller with a blanket on top of it. Thinking they were shoplifting, I stopped them before they walked out of the store and snatched it. The attachable car seat came off and there really was a baby in there. A real live crying baby. FML
Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML
Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
You should have looked inside because if there really was a baby I would have went straight in, not wait for the cops.
redbluegreen 41
You should've checked mate, but your heart's in the right place. I think. If it was a real baby, it could've died between the time you heard it and the time the police came in.
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Comments (342)
wild_fml 0
I don't think this is your fault at all. I have mistaken plastic dolls for real babies even when they weren't in the trash. And at least you attempted to save the "baby" and called the police.
jonlaw98 0
Wow
shagmii 0
Why did you not try to see if the baby was ok. Fail. Ydi.
xNatsuki 0
It was nice of you to try and help though.
Creston 0
IT'S ALIIIVEE! *lightning flashes dramatically* ...Seriously, good on you for trying to help, but it could suffocate while you wait for the police.
mnroman2 0
What an idiot...why didnt you look in the dumpster???
FarFromHome_fml 17
Forget looking! If you think it's a real baby take it out of the dumpster!!!
dmoney211 0
Look b4you no What it is!!
deliapearl 0
At least you did something. Remember that TV show where they put the baby in a locked car on a hot day as a test and so many people didn't stop/call/do anything?
pearls 0
#12 they make plastic dolls that cry and stuff, like baby be mine and baby born and stuff like that. I used to have them when I was a kid. You did the right thing but you should have probably looked, checked, called the police and then tried to get it out whilst they were arriving. But if you'd checked properly none of the other stuff would've had to happen. But then I understand why you didn't grab it, because you could have killed it, so your heart is definitely in the right place.
sarumanthewhite 0
shame it wasn't a real dead baby there's nothing i like more than the sight of a dead baby